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The bible makes it very clear that the responsibility of leadership in marriage falls squarely on the husband's shoulders. 1 Corinthians 11:3 says that "Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ."
The scripture states that the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. A good husband loves his wife unconditionally and is a servant leader just like Christ.
Unconditional Love
In Ephesians 5:25 the bible commands husbands to love their wives just as Christ loved the church, and gave Himself up for her." A husband's love for his wife should not be based on her actions. He should respect, affirm and love her at all times.
Sacrifice
Sacrificial action is an integral part of the husband's role as the head of the home. Again, Christ is a wonderful example of this. He demonstrated servant leadership by washing his disciple's feet. In marriage, being a servant leader means ensuring that the wife's material, emotional and spiritual needs are met.
Ephesians 5:25-33, Colossians 3:19, 1Peter 3:7-22, 1Corinthians 7:3-17, these are part of the scripture in context because you've only asked the Husband's duty.
Giannis, thanks for mentioning the part about adultery. I found that in several passages related to re-marriage when the spouse is still living, regardless of the circumstances. When I think about it, it would be like jumping out of the frying pan into the fire. Things could be worse.
You have done the right thing dear sister and God has blessed you for obeying Him in your life. The church I am serving doesn't remarry divorced people and also doesn't give divorces for any other reason than adultery. We are very firm about it. But this is very rare to find nowadays in christianity, most churches have given up to their members' demand for remaryring, but that leads to adultery since in God's eyes remarriage is not valid. So what is our (born again christians) difference with the worldly churches, non really (even worse since we actually know the truth but don't follow it).
Thank you Chris for your encouragement. I stopped giving my testimony years ago because of such an unpleasant response, even from church members: some who had been unequally yoked, even if the spouse had gotten saved and all was well; some who had been touched by re-marriage somewhere in their family. It was my story, but they were offended My 1st pastor was at a loss & would not comment on the situation; 2nd pastor would not perform a ceremony for divorced people because of an oath he had made to God when he went into ministry, but said I could get married at justice of peace and then both parties could serve at his church; 3rd pastor said being released from bondage meant that I was free to re-marry and he would do ceremony as long as the union was "in the Lord". Even pastors were not willing to embrace the truth and stand on it. But I could not get past the stigma that would be there if my husband was living. It seemed the only way to have a clean slate and start over with the best odds of having a successful relationship, & be married in the church with full support was for my husband to die first. Then there would be no questions or argument about it, and less stress for me. It became my sanity. In the meantime, I never ran into anyone that I was interested in that met the criteria of "in the Lord". I had a few boyfriends along the way and each time I asked myself how would I have more peace ? with or without them -- it was always without them. I have had a wonderful life and a career that provided very well for me and great friends and family. I had not looked at these verses in decades. I received word recently that my husband's health is failing and he is on kidney dialysis now, and I started wondering if I had mis-interpreted scripture way back then. So I re-read all the verses and they seemed clearer now than before and found this website when clarifying the meaning of bondage. I am encouraged now to give my testimony if asked about my situation.
That was heartening to read, Jrpon, of your faithfulness to the Lord & to your marriage vows. In spite of maybe times of loneliness & a patient waiting on the Lord for His provision, you have proved the sufficiency of His Grace to surmount those trials. Yes, many have carelessly entered into an unequal/unloving marriage & have suffered through it & regretted it. But the comfort that He gives, is His special peace, that He has not forgotten you & will only give you His very best to live this life for Him. John 14:27.
Thank you for this reminder. When taken along with the verses surrounding I Cor 7:15 about letting the unsaved leave and you are no longer under bondage , but God has called you to live in peace, it helps to clarify bondage. Some would say that if you are no longer under bondage, then you are free to re-marry. I hold that you are no longer responsible to the unsaved who left, but you still have a responsibility to your oath "til death do you part" made to God in the marriage ceremony. NOT "til divorce do you part". It does seem harsh that the saved should be bound to the oath until death of the spouse, but God is big enough to allow me to outlive spouse if he wants me to remarry. 46 years ago when I was very young and saved, I married an unsaved man and it was a horrible experience. I confessed it within 2 weeks of the marriage and told God that I was sorry but I would keep my oath but need his grace to do it. In the 3.5 yrs I was married, my husband periodically tried to convince me there was no God, and then convince me that WE should get a divorce. I told him there was a God and WE would not be getting a divorce because I had made an oath til death do us part, but he could make his own decisions. He did not want marriage but did not want responsibility for divorce either. He finally left, filed divorce and I let him go. I was free from him but still had my oath. Due to severe diabetes he had been on death bed twice and I thought he would not live long. 43 yrs later he is still alive, with multiple near death experiences, and I am still unmarried. The only way I can explain it is that God has given husband multiple opportunities to get saved, to no avail. And I guess his death would be wasted if God has not brought all the puzzle pieces together yet for me to have a partner. It is easy to fantasize how my life could have been if I had remarried years ago, but many people have that with much sorrow. I will never know what horrors God has saved me from.
"For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man". The same goes for the husband, if his wife dies he is free to marry another woman. GBU
I believe it's possibly scriptures mixed together that are actually separate. However the main point you're getting from it seems to be in Paul's letters to the Church in Corinthian: 1Corinthians 7, note 1Corinthians 7:10-17,
Mark 10:1-31, Luke 16:13-31, John 4:1-43, Ephesians 5:33, Romans 7:2, John 8:1-11
Where is the story found where the wife believed on Jesus but the husband did not so she left an went to a relative. Jesus advised her to return home to not mention her faith
"For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?"
Paul advices christians not to separate if wife/husband is a unbeliever because staying with wife/husband may lead to their salvation.
But (and this is of great importance but is often delibareately ommited to teach)if they separate they cannot be married again.
Verses 10-11 "And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:
But and if she depart (permitted only due to adultery), let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife."
29 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.
You need to be on alert at a party if there is alcohol and lack of self control from others. Be considerate of the wives and girlfriends. You can see how Satan can "work this" against you.
1 Peter 5:8
Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:
Anita, Of course, but I would recommend that a male be friend to a husband, not the wife AND a female be a friend to the wife, not the husband. Husbands and wife need to guard their marriage from inappropriate friendships with members of the opposite sex.
3 The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for Every cause?
4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, ( Genesis 2:23-24) that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,
5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
7 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?
8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the BEGINNING it was not so.
9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
[Wesley's Notes for Deuteronomy 24:1 Mosaic Law for Divorce]
Some uncleanness - Some hateful thing, some distemper of body or quality of mind not observed before marriage: or some light carriage, as this phrase commonly signifies, but not amounting to adultery. Let him write - This is not a command as some of the Jews understood it, nor an allowance and approbation, but merely a permission of that practice for prevention of greater mischiefs, and this only until the time of reformation, till the coming of the Messiah when things were to return to their first institution and purest condition.
As a Christian you are called to be at peace with everyone. Talk to your Pastor & give details. If not him, get a Christian Counselor. You'll feel better what you decide to do. Come back here for emotional support.
My advice: live single for a year; no dating. Build friendships within the Church now. Separation may be
If you sinned voluntarily, or involuntarily regarding your marriage simple pray for forgiveness, and you will be forgiven. If we believe in Jesus, and ask for forgiveness, all of our sins will be forgiven - accept for ONE sin - and that sin is: blaspheme of the Holy Spirit. Here is Jesus telling us exactly this, in scripture below.below
Mark 3:28-29
"Verily I say unto you, All sins shall be forgiven unto the sons of men, and blasphemies wherewith soever they shall blaspheme:" "But he that shall blaspheme against the Holy Ghost hath never forgiveness, but is in danger of eternal damnation:"
Again there is much scripture that reinforces forgiveness of ALL sin.
Colossians 2:13
"And you, being dead in your sins and the uncircumcision of your flesh, hath he quickened together with him, having forgiven you all trespasses;"
1 John 1:9
"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
Ask for forgiveness, and move on with your life, in a goodly and Godly manner. Stay close to your bible and God.
The Bible says if the unbeliever departs, a Brother or Sister is not held accountable. They are free to remarry, but only in The Lord, in God's Will and to another Christian. Do you really think God wants you to live Defeated, listless, powerless,oppressed. My Father in Law, under whose Ministry I was saved ,always said. " If you have a Husband or Wife that hinders you from serving God. You need to get rid of them. Because your Soul is much more important. If you have exhausted every means possible to restore that which was broken. Do not let Satan continue to dominate your life with guilt. You have been living in misery and now there is hope ,,and Satan knows it. There are literally 10s of millions of Christians who are carrying guilt and shame, because somebody wouldn't live right. And the devil says it's your fault, so Reap it.
Listen,, at the end of the day every person does what is in their Heart. Me,you and every other man, woman. Don't buy into the Ol' " I could have done better, if you had done this, hadn't done this. I know we all wish we could go back and do some things ,say some things different. But the Reality is this,, it still wouldn't have changed what was in that Person's Heart.
Pray, ask God, not man, he has the answers. And realize this, we are in this Flesh, no matter how good are intentions are. We still miss it. But just call on God again, and seek his Grace. Amen
I am still trying to get clarification regarding my marital situation. I have read several scriptures about remarriage, divorce, etc., but am wanting and still do pray for clarification with my particular situation. I decided to separate from my former wife due to constant physical abuse and chaos in the home. Months went by and I later asked if she wanted to try to work out the marriage. She claimed that she did not and that we clearly would not work and should go separate ways, and that she was filing for a divorce. I decided to go ahead and file the divorce myself without an attorney. Since I was the one that filed the divorce instead of waiting on her to use her lawyer, would I be in the wrong for filing it? Would that divorce be my fault even though she was the one who initiated it and decided that she wanted it? I do wish to be married, but I refuse to go to hell if I am not at liberty to do so. The bible doesn't give my particular situation, so I am just wanting help clarifying how my divorce/remarriage would be handled. Not to mention, our divorce was finalized in January of one year, and she remarried 5 mths later. Which has me to believe that someone was in the picture while going through the divorce. I believe that ultimately I must pray about my particular situation. I just want to get a more educated/knowledgeable answer, incite, or advice. Thank you
Dwight My understanding in the context if two people are married and don't believe but one of them gets born again and the other decides to leave the believer is not held accountable. On the other hand one can get born again and the other stays verses 13 +14. Divorce is not Gods Will.
Few years back seen a story,thought would share it
There was a known tv preacher who was invited to a brand new start up church first service.
He stood back after awhile n whispered the side of his mouth as if God were standing next to him (humorously)n said 'Well..this ok n thats ok but this chior is horrible.. to his shocking surprise, God spoke to him n said
' Let me tell you something,There is people who can sing,,I mean really sing
Then there is people who sing from there heart... and this.... is soo beautiful'
"Some Jews, for fear of Antiochus, made themselves uncircumcised, 1 Maccab. 1:16. Others for shame after they were gained to the knowledge of Christ, as here. This was done by drawing up the fore-skin with a surgeon's instrument." (Trapp) "By frequent stretching, the circumcised skin could be again so drawn over, as to prevent the ancient sign of circumcision from appearing." (Clarke)
1 Corinthians 7:18-19 can be taken together. This is not talking about a fleshly circumcision.
18 Is any man called being circumcised? let him not become uncircumcised. Is any called in uncircumcision? let him not be circumcised.
19 Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but the keeping of the commandments of God.
So just keep God's commandments. If you're Gentile, you don't have to become Jewish. If you're Jewish, you don't have to become un-Jewish. It's in the heart!
Leadership
The bible makes it very clear that the responsibility of leadership in marriage falls squarely on the husband's shoulders. 1 Corinthians 11:3 says that "Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ."
The scripture states that the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. A good husband loves his wife unconditionally and is a servant leader just like Christ.
Unconditional Love
In Ephesians 5:25 the bible commands husbands to love their wives just as Christ loved the church, and gave Himself up for her." A husband's love for his wife should not be based on her actions. He should respect, affirm and love her at all times.
Sacrifice
Sacrificial action is an integral part of the husband's role as the head of the home. Again, Christ is a wonderful example of this. He demonstrated servant leadership by washing his disciple's feet. In marriage, being a servant leader means ensuring that the wife's material, emotional and spiritual needs are met.
Hopefully these are helpful
You have done the right thing dear sister and God has blessed you for obeying Him in your life. The church I am serving doesn't remarry divorced people and also doesn't give divorces for any other reason than adultery. We are very firm about it. But this is very rare to find nowadays in christianity, most churches have given up to their members' demand for remaryring, but that leads to adultery since in God's eyes remarriage is not valid. So what is our (born again christians) difference with the worldly churches, non really (even worse since we actually know the truth but don't follow it).
GBU
Romans 7:2-3
"For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man". The same goes for the husband, if his wife dies he is free to marry another woman. GBU
How about a husband, if he loses his wife, is free to remarry?
Also?
Mark 10:1-31, Luke 16:13-31, John 4:1-43, Ephesians 5:33, Romans 7:2, John 8:1-11
Hopefully these are helpful
and the believer tries or pushes their spouse to believe. Absolutely unbiblical because who saves people jesus Christ via
Gods word and that by seeing the love of God demonstrated. When you walk in Gods love [agapeo spiritual] which the highest
action of love we walk in what GOD IS PERFECT LOVE which is what was displayed by Jesus Christ i.e. those who have seen
me have seen the father. The corinthian churh dealt with all types of unbelief and division which Paul by revealed knowledge
from God addressed. Chapter 7:1-16 deals with single believers and marriage whether one is a believer or both. God
instituded marriage Genesis 2:23=24 therefore why would God won't to divide what he desired. Now if a person in a marriage
get born again and the spouse wants to split, the born again one is not held accoutable for someone elses unbelief. Look at
Gods love if one or the other splits look at verse 15 if the unbeliever leaves we are not in bondage but are calles to peace.
The other side of the coin if husband or wife is a believer God Does want that to break up verses 13+14. The heart of
God is not division but peace healing love grace and mercy all possible by walking on his Word. We don't push or compell or
condemn we love with agapeo.
My understanding of that is as follows:
1 Corinthians 7:16
"For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?"
Paul advices christians not to separate if wife/husband is a unbeliever because staying with wife/husband may lead to their salvation.
But (and this is of great importance but is often delibareately ommited to teach)if they separate they cannot be married again.
Verses 10-11 "And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:
But and if she depart (permitted only due to adultery), let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife."
GBU
27 Neither give place to the devil.
29 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.
You need to be on alert at a party if there is alcohol and lack of self control from others. Be considerate of the wives and girlfriends. You can see how Satan can "work this" against you.
1 Peter 5:8
Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:
[Comment: he's invisible]
3 The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for Every cause?
4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, ( Genesis 2:23-24) that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,
5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
7 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?
8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the BEGINNING it was not so.
9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
[Wesley's Notes for Deuteronomy 24:1 Mosaic Law for Divorce]
Some uncleanness - Some hateful thing, some distemper of body or quality of mind not observed before marriage: or some light carriage, as this phrase commonly signifies, but not amounting to adultery. Let him write - This is not a command as some of the Jews understood it, nor an allowance and approbation, but merely a permission of that practice for prevention of greater mischiefs, and this only until the time of reformation, till the coming of the Messiah when things were to return to their first institution and purest condition.
As a Christian you are called to be at peace with everyone. Talk to your Pastor & give details. If not him, get a Christian Counselor. You'll feel better what you decide to do. Come back here for emotional support.
My advice: live single for a year; no dating. Build friendships within the Church now. Separation may be
Preferable during this process.
If you sinned voluntarily, or involuntarily regarding your marriage simple pray for forgiveness, and you will be forgiven. If we believe in Jesus, and ask for forgiveness, all of our sins will be forgiven - accept for ONE sin - and that sin is: blaspheme of the Holy Spirit. Here is Jesus telling us exactly this, in scripture below.below
Mark 3:28-29
"Verily I say unto you, All sins shall be forgiven unto the sons of men, and blasphemies wherewith soever they shall blaspheme:" "But he that shall blaspheme against the Holy Ghost hath never forgiveness, but is in danger of eternal damnation:"
Again there is much scripture that reinforces forgiveness of ALL sin.
Colossians 2:13
"And you, being dead in your sins and the uncircumcision of your flesh, hath he quickened together with him, having forgiven you all trespasses;"
1 John 1:9
"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
Ask for forgiveness, and move on with your life, in a goodly and Godly manner. Stay close to your bible and God.
God Bless.
Listen,, at the end of the day every person does what is in their Heart. Me,you and every other man, woman. Don't buy into the Ol' " I could have done better, if you had done this, hadn't done this. I know we all wish we could go back and do some things ,say some things different. But the Reality is this,, it still wouldn't have changed what was in that Person's Heart.
Pray, ask God, not man, he has the answers. And realize this, we are in this Flesh, no matter how good are intentions are. We still miss it. But just call on God again, and seek his Grace. Amen
Mikey Out. Oooooh Yeah!!!!
There was a known tv preacher who was invited to a brand new start up church first service.
He stood back after awhile n whispered the side of his mouth as if God were standing next to him (humorously)n said 'Well..this ok n thats ok but this chior is horrible.. to his shocking surprise, God spoke to him n said
' Let me tell you something,There is people who can sing,,I mean really sing
Then there is people who sing from there heart... and this.... is soo beautiful'
"Some Jews, for fear of Antiochus, made themselves uncircumcised, 1 Maccab. 1:16. Others for shame after they were gained to the knowledge of Christ, as here. This was done by drawing up the fore-skin with a surgeon's instrument." (Trapp) "By frequent stretching, the circumcised skin could be again so drawn over, as to prevent the ancient sign of circumcision from appearing." (Clarke)
1 Corinthians 7:18-19 can be taken together. This is not talking about a fleshly circumcision.
18 Is any man called being circumcised? let him not become uncircumcised. Is any called in uncircumcision? let him not be circumcised.
19 Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but the keeping of the commandments of God.
So just keep God's commandments. If you're Gentile, you don't have to become Jewish. If you're Jewish, you don't have to become un-Jewish. It's in the heart!