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I'm praying for you sweetie. I'm praying that the LOVE of God will so envelope you, that you won't be able to do anything other than submit to truth.
The truth of the matter is that, nothing you've done can separate you from His LOVE.
Adam told you the truth, yet in all of that and in all that my brothers and sisters have shared with you the main thing is.....God loves you and desires your heart! As long as you have breathe in your body, you can run back to him!
Jesus is the way, the truth and the life and NONE of us can come to God except by him.
My heart connects with what you are expressing about your friend. I too lost a close friend dealing with some of those same issues. I made the decision not to rekindle the friendship although I still love and care about her.We are both Christians. Life happens to us all,stuff happens to us all.
When you're dealing with a deep wound like that, it just takes time. We have to sometimes repent all day long for what we're feeling and what were saying about it but you can continually ask God to help you with your feelings and emotions. He's faithful and He loves you. All of us continue to fall short and Jesus is still at the right hand of God, making intercession for us.
Whetever you are dealing with, sexual orientation or whatever it is.....you can still go to God. He knew before the foundation of the world that YOU would have these issues.He understands and He's made a way, through the Blood of Jesus.
Each one of us will give account for what we decided to do with Jesus. I encourage you to run to God again and talk with Him about it ALL my friend.
Your heart is precious to Him and your life is priceless to Him.
I want to thank everyone who responded to me. You have all given me alot to think about.
I apologize, I see that some of my comments may have offended or misled some, so I want to clarify. I had no intention to attempt to contradict or discredit the Bible or Christianity. I only was trying to say that at this time and place in my life, it was not for me. I wasn't trying to come onto a Biblical site and criticize the Bible, Christianity or Christians. I was at one time, a Christian. I am no longer because that particular religion was not compatible for me and so I left. And because I was not treated well back in tbe day by some who identified as Christians.
I came on this site because I saw it advertised on television as a place where people could come together and talk about issues that divide us and find reconciliation. I was trying to figure out if it was possible to salvage a friendship that had been heartbreakingly fractured by some of the events of the day, especially racism. I mentioned my sexual orientation to give the context that this friend did not just come out with a prejudice randomly; she had a history of prejudicial behavior and this was part of why I was upset. I received some very helpful responses and some understanding and I thank those who gave them. Thank you very much and God bless.
So a life in Christ is not a "try, see if you like it, then accept or reject Christ" type of association - that is merely religion, whereby one can choose to find a belief system or philosophy that fits in with our beliefs. Christianity - pure Christianity from the Bible speaks of a complete inward change that then pursues the things of God in spite of personal conflicts & challenges along the way. So Claudia, please don't give up on Christ - in spite of your past & even distresses of the present, Christ is your (& our) only Hope for this life & that which is to come. As Jesus is ready to forgive us completely,without partiality or condemnation, it is my hope & prayer that you will find both this Love of Christ in your heart & life & also the love & full acceptance of your friend.
I hope the responses you've received so far have been useful & I thank you for yours to me giving further detail to the most recent 'outburst'. Of course, not hearing your friend's side of this sad account, I can only discern from what you have shared here. Your friend appears to be somewhat 'highly strung' in her changing moods & rhetoric. As others have shared or intimated, Christians may be a forgiven people but certainly God has still to do a lot more work in us. I'm only sad that you're not seeing a better example of Christ-likeness & by your forgiving her & God's Work in her, she may be able to see herself more clearly.
We have a relative (a lady about your age) who is gay, though never suffering childhood abuse as you have. Her story sounds similar to yours, in that she once was quite a vibrant Christian, but was 'put off' by the attitudes & hypocrisies she saw in her family & Christians generally & felt better served to follow her sexual orientation & indeed go right over to the other side & pursue the Hindu philosophy. She is now quite an active Hindu & turned completely away from anything of Christ. Of course, I can't comment on your 're-birth' experience, as it's something personal between God & yourself, but I do know that if we are born again, then it's a complete spiritual change (not physical) done by God for all time. If one such as yourself should also then have to 'fit in' your sexual orientation in that Work of God, then God certainly will speak, guide & counsel you about it. It will be a struggle, as there are struggles in each of us who may have been given over to behaviour that is inconsistent with God's requirements, but we pursue godliness to please the One Who has brought light into our once dark souls.
If someone comes to a Bible site and publicly posts that they disagree with its teachings or think the Bible is wrong for this or that reason, then that can be offensive and judgmental to the many who respect its teachings. One must question the true motives of someone coming to a Bible website who then tries to discredit the Bible.
The Bible says the act of homosexuality is a sin. That isn't an opinion. That is what the Bible says in its text in several places: Link - is someone a Bible follower or a Bible-denier? Is someone a Christ follower (Christian) or a Christ denier?
So, the act is morally wrong and a sin. Just because someone has desires for something doesn't mean he must act on it. People regularly have all kinds of desires for sin, because sin is made attractive. Satan loves to dangle sin in front of our faces, but that doesn't mean we must engage in that sin. People also make a logical fallacy of identifying oneself as this or that, as if that somehow justifies sin. No, identifying oneself as a certain label doesn't make sin ok. i.e. I'm a robber, so robbing others is ok. I'm a player, so having affairs is ok, etc. on and on. It's all the same old, tired tricks that satan plays over and over, but they keep working to deceive people.
God calls everyone to be loving. Love people, despite their flaws. Loving doesn't mean to condone sin and it doesn't mean an excuse to commit sin, however. That's a logical fallacy, false assumption and a deception from satan. Sin is sin. God will judge our actions. Sometimes people pretend to be a victim for being called out on sin. Sometimes that feeling is actually guilt from deep-down knowing what one is doing is morally wrong and evil in God's eyes. The Bible is very clear on this subject and it will not be watered down to make someone feel better about their own sin.
I did learn of those things you mentioned. I was a Born-Again Christian in my 20's.
Ironically, some of the rest of your response is why I am no longer a Christian.
But I certainly agree that my friend and I are going in different directions and perhaps nothing I can do can change that, and perhaps I should move on and leave her in Greater Hands.
But anyway, I do believe in God, and I can and indeed have prayed for her. I want to forgive, and that is my intention, but I have not gotten there yet. I have not spoken to her since October because I do think that she did feel guilty, and rather than disavow, or at least take time to mull it over, she blamed me, and later doubled down when I tried to reach out a little. I don't relish being treated like that again. It's a shame, because I love and miss her. But I can't stomach this part of her.
But anyway, Andrew, I thank you for your thought-provoking and kind response to me.
Thank you for your reply, Andrew, I actually replied some of what I wanted to say to you, to Chris.
I used to actually be Born Again. But that was not a good fit for me, for many reasons, including my sexual orientation, and a long history of abuse with my stepfather. Nonetheless, I am very familiar with Christianity, and did study the Bible in my 20's when I identified as Born Again. This was the 80's and many Christians I had experience with were very offensive to me as a gay woman, a real turnoff.
I still struggle with the amount of animus that is directed at gay people by some people who identify as Christians. I understand that Christianity considers homosexuality as a sin. And I recognize that to Christians all sin is sin. But it is hard for me to look at it that way. To me, it is strange. Two consenting adults loving one another is "bad", but it is OK for some to rationalize slavery. My friend said to me, "Well, Claudia, do you know that back in the day, black people had slaves? Do you know black people sold one another into slavery? At one time or another, all races have had it bad (!). Are you aware of Morgan Freeman's views on racism?" Now, back in the day, my friend made homophobic statements such as "Homosexuality is a gross sin in the eyes of God and AIDS is the punishment.". That statement was circa 1986. She has disavowed her homophobia and apologized for saying those kind of things to me, and we did quite well for five years. But the above racist/apologist statements are things she said to me this fall, after the summer of BLM protests. When I read them, I just ask myself what the point was of her disavowing the homophobia, when it doesn't seem like she learned anything from it? And when I told her how much her racist/apologist statements offended me, she apologized, but when I pointed out those same statements would offend POC, she not only didn't apologize, she doubled down on them!
Otherwise you and your friend are traveling in entirely different directions and really have nothing significant in common. She is accepted of God because of Jesus regardless what you publicly charge her with here.
It is hard, because we live in a homophobic society, and there is a tendency for some Christians to be very condemning of gay people, which makes it difficult to separate the feelings of those Christians from the God they serve, and therefore, hard to feel that love you allude to. But I'm going to pray to God that He send me that love that I can feel. Thank you again, Rick!
This all happened in October, and I have not spoken to her since, except once. My friend lost her mother at a young age, so she has been friendly with my mother, which I have not interfered with. My mother sent her some writings of mine via email, I felt, trying to reconcile us. I wrote my friend and apologized for my mother doing this. As my friend had accused me of being controlling, I didn't want her to feel that either my mother or I were in any way trying to manipulate her. She responded more warmly than I expected and said she was no longer upset with me, so I apologized for getting upset during our discussion, and patiently clarified a few things, trying to open the way for future dialogue, and she reiterated that I had been controlling and abusive in our previous discussion. Since I did not believe I had been, indeed believe that I had bent over backwards to patiently explain and entreat, I was offended and fed up and walked away. But it hurts alot...
Yes, I am aware of Christ's role in Christianity. I was once born again. Unfortunately, Christianity did not fit well with me, partly due to the abuse I mentioned in my original post. But I do thank the folks who have responded here, because I have not felt judged, and that is good. Thanks again, Chris!
All of us have failed God in one way or the other - but God is in the business of bringing lost & wayward folk back into His Love & family, through the gift of His Son Jesus Christ.
You ask, "What do you do when so-called Christians don't act very Christian?" If you can find forgiveness in your heart that would be the first step, as each one of us are at different levels of spiritual understanding & maturity. If you tell her that her behaviour is very un-Christian-like, she may either get offended & break off altogether or it might be a wake-up call for her to re-examine her attitudes. You will know her better than any of us. So it's not an easy decision to make; it comes down to how much you are willing to put up with & hoping that God Himself will have dealings with her making her more sensitive to you, first as a person/a friend, & then to share more carefully & lovingly about God's desire for you as for each one of us. Given her propensity to lay the Bible heavily against you, you may even ask her to spend some time together reading & studying God's Word (from the New Testament Gospels): she might gain some useful insights to Christian behaviour & be softened in her heart by your interest to read with her, & you too might learn more of Jesus & what He requires of us. God's Word is powerful - it has the ability to bring us Light & direct our minds & our ways in the right direction - into an abundant life. Please feel free Claudia to enquire further here, if any comments need to be elaborated or you have other questions. God bless you.
Hi Claudia. Thank you for coming on here; I hope you get other comments. I can see that you've maintained your relationship with your friend over many years, so in spite of her views on your sexual orientation & her firm stance, you have been gracious enough to overlook her shortcomings & hopeful for restoration. As you've not asked about the Christian/biblical viewpoint on homosexuality, I'll refrain, as you probably are well versed (ad nauseam) in this matter from your friend. However, I would say that even though God's Plan in creating man & woman is to live in a heterosexual monogamous union, those who have deviated from that, for whatever reason, are still human beings deserving of understanding, support & friendship, without ceaseless condemnation (Jesus didn't do it - nor should we).
You referred to her as an 'apologist'. I rather see her as standing firm on her beliefs but not adequately (i.e. in a concerned methodical manner) dealing with it in your presence. To defend one's belief requires a careful, systematic presentation & I don't think you received that, rather her attitude towards you has brought on irritation & helplessness in understanding her behaviour. And that grieves me. Though I do hope, that with your maturity (which I clearly notice), you will continue to forgive her for her lack of Christian 'spirit' in this matter. Sometimes, we can get quite fired up over our faith & stand on biblical values & teaching, that we can become insensitive to the other person's position & feelings. And this attitude of course, will do nothing to present the teachings & life of Christ in all its beauty to another. She knows your views on the matter & that in spite of it, you still value her friendship; in such a situation I would relish the opportunity to pursue & build upon that relationship, where I would be more understanding & the other person would be more willing to listen & consider God's Love & offer to her, as He has given to each of us.
After reading your post, I am led to respond in hopes that my answer will give you something to ponder on and consider. I took notice that you mentioned that you are not a Christian, and the fact that you are gay. While I strive to be a Christian, I am nonetheless human and prone to make poor choices when I allow myself to ignore the morals that God has implemented in me. No one is perfect, and that includes those who proclaim to be Christians. However, a true Christian cannot be racist, nor intentionally and willfully commit sin without having a guilty conscience. With that being said, I am not sure if your friend is truly a Christian, for only herself and God know the answer to that. So, to answer your question "What do you do when so-called Christians don't act very Christian?". The simple answer is there is nothing that you can do other than pray for them if you believe in God. Of course, you could always point out the fact that a true Christian does not hold hatred towards another, regardless of skin color. But this may be difficult to accomplish if you yourself are not a Christian.
I would like to comment on your statement regarding your not being a Christian yourself. But please keep in mind that I am not being judgemental or condemning you in any way, for I am not God, nor do I have that right. I am not sure if you have ever been educated on who Jesus Christ is, or if you have an understanding of what He represents, but I would encourage you to at least take a moment to research why He is so vital to the Christian. You see, it does not matter what you have done in the past, for it was the Blood Of Christ that can wash your sins away. When you accept Christ into your heart you become a child of God. Now that doesn't mean that you will be perfect, or that you won't on occasion face difficult times or make poor choices. But what it does mean is that you will begin to develop an inner desire to make better choices. Jesus Loves You!!!
Matthew 5:29 "And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.
Matthew Chapter 10:28, And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.
Matthew Chapter 23:33 [Ye] serpents, [ye] generation of vipers, how can ye escape the damnation of hell?
2 Peter Chapter 2:4 For if God spared not the angels that sinned, but cast [them] down to hell, and delivered [them] into chains of darkness, to be reserved unto judgment;
5 And spared not the old world, but saved Noah the eighth [person], a preacher of righteousness, bringing in the flood upon the world of the ungodly;
Matthew 28: through baptism and faith, because the Holy Ghost is Spirit he can be anywhere in the world at the same time.
John 14:26 "But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you."
John 16:7 "Nevertheless I tell you the truth; It is expedient for you that I go away: for if I go not away, the Comforter will not come unto you; but if I depart, I will send him unto you."
Acts 2:4 "And they were all filled with the Holy Ghost, and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance"
Matthew 28:19
"Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost:"
Matthew 5:14: "Ye ARE the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid."
Isaiah 30:15 (part): "in quietness and in confidence shall be your strength." Your power & resilience lies in your faith & waiting upon the Lord.
May the Lord bless you richly Mishael & minister to your deepest need as you meditate on the Lord Who came just for YOU & will in like manner do so again.
Then in Matthew 5:22, Jesus says, "That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgement: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire." Here the word for 'fool' is 'moros' in Greek, from which we get the word 'moron', stupid, a fool. A person who says this to another (obviously said in anger & hatred), is likened to a murderer, who may not have murdered physically but done so in his heart. This person stands judged for it just as if he murdered physically. So you can see how Jesus brought the people, especially His disciples, the fuller, God intended meaning of the Law. The Law said, "Thou shalt not kill", but Israel failed to understand that that command could be broken by an act of the mind & probably the mouth.
When I sit down and put one on tv, my grandson will bring his toys over and watch them with me. After a few, we go outside and throw frisbee.
'LIKE' those videos, so YouTube keeps them on and adds more.
I hope everyone knows that you have a Christian alternative to Netflix??
PureFlix is Christian theme movies and cartoons. You can try it before you buy it too. Take a look.
Sometimes you got to bite the bullet to get the worldly out of your kids. It's hard these days. They are playing with their friends from school on inter-active gaming.
You need something good to balance out the wasted time (my personal evaluation ok?)
My nephew had seizures most of his life. Playing video games triggered most occurrences. Not the grand mals, but the vacant stare off into space kind.