Anyone else dealing with same sex attraction and trying to live a Celibate life have any tips? Can this lifestyle really work? Is it really the best choice for my situation?
Ruben, here's a technique that's a bit different than the other really good suggestions offered. If you can imagine your life as a pizza, and each slice represents a different aspect of your life. One slice is work, another is church, another slice is family, and another slice might be recreation....and so on. When a slice or a part of that slice is missing, there's a hole. And, we being our human selves try to fill that hole. Often we do it with quick fixes that aren't lasting and negative. The key is to find a long term positive to fill that missing slice. I honestly don't care if you have same sex attraction, but is that new? Is there a void, maybe intimacy or love or a connectedness that is missing. I feel lust, not love. I fall in "Love" with every pretty girl I see. My opinion all humans want to love and be loved. We seek love from fellow people. WE really need to seek God's love. It's harder sometimes, because it's not the BLAM in your face love that we sometimes get from people. Don't get me wrong, it certainly can be. But, it's different. So, think about is something missing? Is it sexual lust, that is looking to fill a void? I never think bars or clubs are the best places to meet long-term partners. That's why their dark and alcohol is involved. Online dating seems to be about hook ups. Use your other areas of life to help you as you come to terms and learn coping strategies to help you. If, this is what you want. You may slip, but keep coming back to God and coming back to scripture. People in the faith community seem to quickly condemn people who have same sex attraction. That's you and your relationship with God, not them and you. Use the SMART method of goal setting Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, Time-line (does it have a time restriction). Is your goal to be celibate those things? Meet like-minded people in healthy environments. I pray for God to open doors for people go through and close doors He doesn't want us in. God Loves You.
Will follow after the spirit. For every person in the world there are sins that tempt. The key is to follow after the spirit. When the lust of sin comes knocking at the door don't answer it. Watch a good movie, listen to Christian radio, listen to some nice Christian music like the Gaithers, Larnelle Harris, Big Daddy Weaver, and Keith Green has some wonderful music from his era. Call a good friend or a prayer line. The key is to follow Christ because he is the resurrection and the life. He is the hope of Resurrection.this means eternal life in a beautiful paradise with mountains and trees and streams and animals and the presence of precious believers do out history. It's well worth the sacrifice I've seen this not healthy for you anyways.
"Can celibacy work?" Celibacy is an acceptable state to be in (whether called or compelled to be in) & it is a demonstration to the Lord & yourself that you are serious about what you are going through. But celibacy alone will be a struggle if done in your own strength. Your whole attitude is to be close to the Lord through the study of His Word, in prayer (especially when the temptations come), in meeting with other Christians who understand your situation & able to support & counsel you, are all essential in gaining victory. You should never feel alone & isolated in being celibate, but to rejoice that your struggles against the flesh are for the Lord & His Glory & that He is mindful of what you're going through. The apostle Paul prayed earnestly that the Lord would remove the 'thorn in his flesh' (possibly an optical problem), but the Lord was quiet over the matter. You can read about it in 2 Corinthians 12:7-10; the key thought here is: that "His Grace (for the infirmity) is given in sufficient measure; & His Strength (to you) is made perfect in (your) weakness". Ruben, you can really prove the Lord in a mighty, special way as you leave your desires completely with Him & trust Him for the strength to persevere & overcome.
Ruben, I really sense your frustration & helplessness. I am a heterosexual so I hope someone else who is going through the same conflicts can respond as well, though I thought to pen a few lines to you.
I understand from your plea, that you are a believer in Jesus Christ, you have homosexual tendencies but trying to live as Christ wants you to. I confess that I'm ignorant how these 'other lifestyles' arise, except to discern that our fallen nature has played havoc with how we are, the way we think, & the things we do. You know the Scriptures about the way God views this type of lifestyle, but what He does see is that you recognize His view on this issue & that only through desire for a new life & abstinence from that which is wrong, is what you too are sensing.
As I mentioned, we often have 'thorns in the flesh', simply because we are human, imperfect, & with sinful flesh. Some may have a physically deformity or with lower mental capacity or carrying emotional pain from a young age. Yours affects your need for love & companionship which is a very strong compulsion. In my case, I was born with colour blindness (to some degree), & though this generally hasn't affected me in my daily life, it destroyed my sole ambition for a career as an airline pilot. I struggled with this 'loss' for many years & wondered why the Lord allowed this to be my lot. As a Christian, I realize that there is always a purpose in our lives; for me, it could have meant an air accident which could have brought disastrous results, but I could see that all things happen for a reason. I never ever settled into any career that I could enjoy, but content to be in Christ.
Your struggle is different I know but the same principles apply. If Satan tries to get me in a weak area of my life, I should expect his attack there, I must withstand him, I must cleave to Christ & I must press on in faith. It will never be an easy road to tread, but you must resist Satan at every instance. (page 2).
Humble yourself under the mighty hand of GOD.
Resist the devil and he will flee from you.
Get on your face before Him! Persevere in this way, and YOU WILL HAVE VICTORY OVER THIS. I pray for you! Much LOVE in JESUS!
"Can celibacy work?" Celibacy is an acceptable state to be in (whether called or compelled to be in) & it is a demonstration to the Lord & yourself that you are serious about what you are going through. But celibacy alone will be a struggle if done in your own strength. Your whole attitude is to be close to the Lord through the study of His Word, in prayer (especially when the temptations come), in meeting with other Christians who understand your situation & able to support & counsel you, are all essential in gaining victory. You should never feel alone & isolated in being celibate, but to rejoice that your struggles against the flesh are for the Lord & His Glory & that He is mindful of what you're going through. The apostle Paul prayed earnestly that the Lord would remove the 'thorn in his flesh' (possibly an optical problem), but the Lord was quiet over the matter. You can read about it in 2 Corinthians 12:7-10; the key thought here is: that "His Grace (for the infirmity) is given in sufficient measure; & His Strength (to you) is made perfect in (your) weakness". Ruben, you can really prove the Lord in a mighty, special way as you leave your desires completely with Him & trust Him for the strength to persevere & overcome.
Ruben, I really sense your frustration & helplessness. I am a heterosexual so I hope someone else who is going through the same conflicts can respond as well, though I thought to pen a few lines to you.
I understand from your plea, that you are a believer in Jesus Christ, you have homosexual tendencies but trying to live as Christ wants you to. I confess that I'm ignorant how these 'other lifestyles' arise, except to discern that our fallen nature has played havoc with how we are, the way we think, & the things we do. You know the Scriptures about the way God views this type of lifestyle, but what He does see is that you recognize His view on this issue & that only through desire for a new life & abstinence from that which is wrong, is what you too are sensing.
As I mentioned, we often have 'thorns in the flesh', simply because we are human, imperfect, & with sinful flesh. Some may have a physically deformity or with lower mental capacity or carrying emotional pain from a young age. Yours affects your need for love & companionship which is a very strong compulsion. In my case, I was born with colour blindness (to some degree), & though this generally hasn't affected me in my daily life, it destroyed my sole ambition for a career as an airline pilot. I struggled with this 'loss' for many years & wondered why the Lord allowed this to be my lot. As a Christian, I realize that there is always a purpose in our lives; for me, it could have meant an air accident which could have brought disastrous results, but I could see that all things happen for a reason. I never ever settled into any career that I could enjoy, but content to be in Christ.
Your struggle is different I know but the same principles apply. If Satan tries to get me in a weak area of my life, I should expect his attack there, I must withstand him, I must cleave to Christ & I must press on in faith. It will never be an easy road to tread, but you must resist Satan at every instance. (page 2).
I'm celibate. If mr. unclean shows up,
Put on praise music You love and read some chapters. Don't be alone with them till you know their story.
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