Bible Discussion Thread

Question: Are we supposed to be actively looking for a spouse, or waiting for God to bring a spouse to us?

See Answer on ebible. ...

Jack Gutknecht ABC/DTS graduate, guitar music ministry Baptist church

I have long believed, even before I married, that I as a Christian bachelor the Lord would bring me a woman to marry. I based this on

Genesis 2:22, "And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made He a woman, and brought her unto the man."

And it happened almost this way. As a bachelor and single pastor of a small Bible church in southeast Wisconsin, I would take our youth group to a Friday night "Lighthouse" gathering to enjoy music, food, and fellowship with a mixed group of teens and young adults. I played the guitar upfront and my wife-to-be, Phyllis, played the piano. She was good; they called her "Piano Phyllis."

That's where we met and eventually married. I asked the highly respected matron of "The Lighthouse" (formerly, "The Stained Glass Window," both meeting in 2 different churches) if this prospective bride would make a good wife. She said "yes." And the rest is history. I now have a wonderful wife!

Of the two choices in your question, my preference would be the latter: to wait on the Lord for His provision. And more so, if your first option to actively look for a spouse, entails much 'Church-hopping' or registering on various Christian dating sites. I feel that if our Christian life requires an ongoing vibrant trust in the Lord in all His provisions for us, then there should be little difference when the need is for a spouse. The Lord is aware of all we need & He certainly provides for us in the right measure at the right time; our faith in Him to give what is best for us has to also instil peace in us that He will do it.

I don't believe this waiting on the Lord indicates any laziness on our part, as those who are of such disposition or procrastinators: 2 Thessalonians 3:10. I believe that the Lord delights when His children look to Him & wait upon Him for His very best. My wife & I married in our early 40s (a first marriage for both of us). And we both believed that the Lord had called us to singleness, as she cared for her elderly widowed Father & I in ministry in Pakistan & then in India. Yet, we have proven Proverbs 16:9: that as we plan our course, it is the Lord Who directs our steps.

A senior brother in Christ had called me over to help in teaching about Islam to young Christian Brethren gathered from various assemblies throughout India. They were being prepared to be sent out to serve short-term in various parts of India as evangelists. I also had the responsibility of keeping the Mission's accounts. The 'steps' I took towards that ministry led me to my future wife's home as I had to deliver a letter from her aunt. I was also able to stay in an upstairs room of her home & was able to assist her Dad when she had to be away. So as things progressed in our friendship, we realized that our meeting at this time was of the Lord & we clearly sensed that this was His Plan for our marriage. We've been happily married for almost 25 years, now in retirement.