Bible Discussion Thread

Question? How does a pastor's wife forgive him for adulterous behavior of 6 years? Especially when he is diagnosed with Parkinson & Dementia and can't help me work through this devastating trial in our lives. He had to retire as an educator also. I had to retire to be his care provider. We live far away from family & I feel so alone most days. He often makes commitments to me that is clearly from that secret life. I know he's taking to the other woman. Yet, there are times when he doesn't remember me or where he is. Counseling requires both of us to be able to communicate. Our financial situation was really terrible but better now. Tthoughts of his past, so separate from my own are driving me in & out of depression/despair. I have no one, professionally I can talk to. His church does not know nor his immediate family. I know only what I found in his phone about the other woman. He admitted the affair. Clearly repentance & Godley sorrowful. But is no help with healing our marriage. I'm up & down. I need help. We've be. married 39 years this April.

Im so very sorry for you ,there is no way i am going to try and tell what you should do and i dont think any one else here would either . You must be heart broken . Do you not have a female friend you can trust to talk to ,it will help you im sure to talk to some one who knows you and your husband , strictly speaking you are free to do what ever you want to but please think very carefully before making a major decision that will impact the rest of your life ,please find a friend and have a chat ,you need support .It doesnt even need to be some one you actually like ,just some one you know is trustworthy and understanding .

DeLonne Jones,

"How does a pastor's wife forgive him for adulterous behavior of 6 years?" "Clearly repentance & Godley sorrowful."

I would say that your forgiveness is dependent on believing the truth of his repentence. However, it is something you will probably never forget. Obviously your situation is made more difficult by his illness and a true healing of the marriage may never reach to your satisfaction. In accepting your role of care giver you have demonstrated your love for him and the vows you voiced. What you have shown is what is true about love, namely, that is based on a commitment and not feelings. You should understand that his dementia will produce numerous instances of hurt to your feelings. That is a byproduct of the illness and would occur even without his infidelity.

Your best and only true help, the repair to your heart, is in what comes from your relationship with God. "I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee" Hebrews 13:5 There may very well come a time when for physical or spiritual reasons you cannot go on as his caregiver. I trust you will find it hard to bare, because it will be to you as him being dead/estranged. I pray you will find a morning in your days to come when joy will again fill your heart.