Bible Discussion Thread

Steve Taplin

Hello everyone,

The answers that I seek are either by prayer, or from Scripture...

However, I write to you for your opinion; so please read the following:

My wife and I found real love after finally finding each other through the fate of God. We have been married for 27 years.

In recent years; our relationship had suffered for many reasons, no blame to either but to both of us.

I could not suffer my wife to leave her nor bear her to suffer the rejection.

So, in my mind; I thought that it would be easier for both if she lost me by death rather than by rejection. So I tempted God and Satan to do their worst.

Then it came to pass that I got an infection in my brain and tried to ride it out to death, but reasoning with myself that this may not bring death but rather a lifelong affliction, I finally went to the hospital and a surgeon performed a cranial and then three months of intravenous antibiotics.

I did not fulfill the curse that I wished for.

Shortly thereafter, my wife was stricken with Alzheimers Dementia. She is 55 years of age and now resides in a Personal Care Home.

I believe this disease was manifested through my sins and tempting God and Satan to do their worst, to me.

Now the ambiguous loss and the guilt that I feel is unbearable. My continued tempting of God and Satan to do their worst to me has come to pass.

My wife has become the victim of my sins and tempting the Powers.

This is truly the worst.

I became born again to pray for my wife and ask God to perform a miracle. Remove the demons from my wife and make her whole again, and forsake me instead.

In conclusion;

I had a dream and a clear voice said to me "This is your cross to bear"

When I looked to the internet to find a meaning for this phrase, the first example displayed was;

"when a family member is diagnosed with Alzheimers, this is your cross to bear."

I truly believe this is the devils work.

Are my prayers lost?

Steve, May the Spirit grace you with HIS wisdom and His understanding.

John 9 1-3 And as Jesus passed by, he saw a man which was blind from his birth.

(vs 2) And his disciples ask him, saying, Master, WHO DID SIN, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind?

(vs 3) Jesus answered, Neither has this man sinned, or his parents: but that THE WORKS OF GOD should be manifest in him.

None of us can completely understand why God does certain thing, but we can believe through the working of the Holy Spirit and stand on his word that the outcome will both bring us into the light and glorify God in the process.

2 Peter 1:19 We have also a more sure word of prophecy, whereunto you do well that you take heed, as unto a light that shineth in a dark place, until the day (of the Lord)(CHRIST IN YOU) dawn, and the day star arise in you hearts.

Revelation 2:28 And I will give him the morning star.

Revelation 22:16 ...... I am the root and the offspring of David, and the bright and morning star.

Job 38:7 When the morning stars sang together; and all the sons of God shouted for joy?

Revelation 12:10 And I heard a loud voice (the holy Spirit) saying in heaven (you, where Christ

dwells), Now is come salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of God (Christ in you), and the power of his Christ: for the ACCUSER of our brethern is cast down, which ACCUSED them (you) before our God day and night (they have no rest).

COME INTO MY REST AND CEASE FROM YOUR WORKS (your way of thinking)

May the SPIRIT grace you with ears to hear and eyes to see.

My brother Steve,

After reading your post I am moved to send you a reply. To me it shows your true love to your wife. That you could not bear to leave her & also not wanting her to feel the rejection of you leaving her. As you thought maybe the best thing would be for you to die and give her peace. Jesus Christ states that there is no greater love than to give your life for your friend. John 15:13.

Now after your own sickness or "infection" it has moved over to your wife and now she is in "assisted living". The most important thing is the Lord came and spake to you in your dream stating "This is your cross to bear". This is a blessing and not everyone receives these things. In the most simple sens from what I feel is that this is your time to suffer. Jesus Christ suffered for us, gave His life for us, and now as "this is your cross" this is your time to suffer. Please my brother, stay strong in your faith to the Lord and do not even let death separate you from Jesus Christ. Trust in Him. The devil is not in control and even if this is the evil one's doing.. God knows everything and there is a reason for it. It may be to bring you closer to Him.

Read the book of (1 Peter as it goes over suffering well. 2 Thessalonians 1:5 is a good verse. As a teaching of Jesus Christ in the book of John is that no servant is greater than his Master. If the world hates you or persecutes you remember it did it to me first(paraphrasing) John 15:18-20. In faith I also believe the Lord would mean this to be for suffering. In that if we suffer remember He suffered for us first.

I hope my reply helps you and renews your hope in the Lord. Focus on Him. Keep praying from the heart in humbleness. Do not fear the devil.

God Bless you.

Brother Richard in Christ,

Thank you so much for your reply and your opinion that I asked for.

I do suffer greatly for I blame myself for my wife's illness...tempting God and Satan to do their worst to me.

however, I always think that there is always someone else in this world that is worse off than I.

And Jesus suffer the greatest...I still find it difficult to read the wicked things that were done to Jesus.

You are right...I have been blessed and I feel that I have been saved and it is my time to suffer ...I am trying to love God with all my body, mind and soul; and love thy neighbor.

My prayers for my wife may never come to fruition...I know...only God knows what the plan is.

God bless you.