i was introduced to God from a young age. i was around 3/4. my grandmother is the one that made sure we went to church. i had a genuine childlike faith and love and belief in the Lord. then i started being sexually abused around the same age by an older male cousin. He eventually moved from molestation to raping me at 5 years old. i remember crying out to God to save me. but the abuse didnt end till i was 10. so at 5 i turned my back on God and was angry with Him and His believers. and i grew hateful and bitter and angry as the years went by.
at age 10 the abuse ended cuz i got older n was able to avoid him or say no more or fight or run off more than i was able to before. at 11 i started self harming via cutting myself with whatever i could get my hands on. i also started strugglign with my sexuality from age 7-25. thinking i was bisexual. hating being a woman/female and gender issues. so it was an awkward time. and of course i didnt tell anyone of the sexual abuse and rape until i was 14. i told when i was 14 because i was going to commit suicide but backed out cut instead n the next morning told my family. my nana tried taking em to church around that time n id go and pretend to be Christian but my heart wasnt in it.
from 14-25 i struggled with mental illenss and suicde plans and i got to a point i was going to save up and buy a gun to kill myself at age 25. God reached out to me june 10 2018 at 3am with the movie "woman thou art loosed". and it set me free. the God i thoughbt abandoned me and that i abandoned in return, loved me. forgave me. saved me. was always theree. and was calling out for me to return to Him. the following weekend i was in church and 3 months later i was baptized. my life hasnt been the same since. He set me free from sooo many things. from my sins, from myself, from the enemy. and He is ever healing me steadily now. i am 28 going on 29 and im getting my life and growing in my love and knowlege of the Lord. wont He do it!
at age 10 the abuse ended cuz i got older n was able to avoid him or say no more or fight or run off more than i was able to before. at 11 i started self harming via cutting myself with whatever i could get my hands on. i also started strugglign with my sexuality from age 7-25. thinking i was bisexual. hating being a woman/female and gender issues. so it was an awkward time. and of course i didnt tell anyone of the sexual abuse and rape until i was 14. i told when i was 14 because i was going to commit suicide but backed out cut instead n the next morning told my family. my nana tried taking em to church around that time n id go and pretend to be Christian but my heart wasnt in it.
from 14-25 i struggled with mental illenss and suicde plans and i got to a point i was going to save up and buy a gun to kill myself at age 25. God reached out to me june 10 2018 at 3am with the movie "woman thou art loosed". and it set me free. the God i thoughbt abandoned me and that i abandoned in return, loved me. forgave me. saved me. was always theree. and was calling out for me to return to Him. the following weekend i was in church and 3 months later i was baptized. my life hasnt been the same since. He set me free from sooo many things. from my sins, from myself, from the enemy. and He is ever healing me steadily now. i am 28 going on 29 and im getting my life and growing in my love and knowlege of the Lord. wont He do it!
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