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When husband and I were married 36 years ago, we were evenly yoked. Both Christians. We together had a large savings account and a beautiful house almost paid off. We always tithed and gave large sum offerings. He worked only 4 days a week and we had money, no lack. Until 5 years ago, he got himself intrigued with gambling with slot machines. He stopped paying the bills, house and car. He drained our savings account without my knowledge. Took money from my purse, that was disability money, due to my back. I was shocked when he said he was not going to work anymore, his days and nights were consumed with the casino. All this time I'm still the same person I was when we were married. Going to church, reading the Word, praying. My son had to pick me up for church since by now one of the cars were reposest and my husband didn't leave the car home for me for church or for anything. He became this person I didn't know or even like. Then eventually our house was foreclosed. I don't know what happened to him. He was always a saver but would always tithe and give offerings and if people were in need he would buy their groceries or gas. The question or comment I have is, since we are married but I don't agree with 100% of his decisions, is God making me suffer because of his lifestyle? I learned the hard way to not voice my opinion in any circumstances. So, as I sit lonely and so sad the way my life has turned out. I pray for him, that's all I can do. I still trust and believe Jesus has something better than this. We had such a great Christian life together until he met the slot machines. I don't like the person he has become. He's not the person who loved Jesus and would pray together with me as always before. Would God want me to be miserable in this life I'm living? I guess there's no choice. I'm still married to him and as his wife I must obey him and live an awful life. Any thoughts?? Thank you for listening.
Your husband seems to have fallen prey to sin from not properly seeking God's help to remain free from sin. He may be saved or not, but it appears you may have to seek God to help you do right by God on a separate path that avoids your husband's destructive interference. If he is not determined to remain true to his marriage vows and responsibilities to you and God then you may have to let him go.
1 Corinthians 7:15
But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
1 Corinthians 7:11 (But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband): and let not the husband put away his wife.
1 Corinthians 7:12 But to the rest speak (I, not the Lord): If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.
1 Corinthians 7:15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace
Matthew 19:8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.
So Glad for the Word it brings such joy and peace.
A brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases - (means you can't force them to stay with you) but God hath called us to peace. The Word does not dispute itself.
God allows separation between light and darkness, right and wrong, righteousness and rebellion, and so forth. A woman with an abusive and rebellious husband is not totally bound to him in ways that prevent her from serving God. She should seek the Lord to give her guidance as to how to serve the Lord acceptably with or without her husband.
If a woman's husband sexually abuses their children, for example, she and her children are under no moral obligation to remain living under the same roof with him. In another example, if a woman's husband drinks or gambles all their money away and they lose their house, their car, and their income, then she is free to go live with her parents alone if God wills that for her. She does not have to live homeless with him and her parents are under no moral obligation to take him into their home if they take her in.
I agree no one should raise children under those conditions if possible. But let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to their only companion. Matthew 9:18
I will pray for you and your husband to get through this. I also pray that you receive wise council and that God can work through this situation to restore the way things were before.
I think the marriage partnership is there to support each other when one is down and love is doing what is best for the person and for the couple, not necessarily what is fun or offers short term pleasure. What I mean is he is down and you are currently the strong one in the relationship, and I personally think you are still respecting and loving your husband by doing what is best and right, not necessarily what he wants in the short term. And what I mean by that is if he is continuing to harm himself, go into debt, and sustain more and more losses, then I would consider taking measures to mitigate the damage and stop that.
More specifically, I personally would consider freezing credit cards, limiting bank withdrawals, blocking casino as a merchant that can no longer be paid, talk to your bank and see what your options are. I would organize some kind of intervention, bring in his old friends, other family, counselor, not at the same time, but in steps to hold strong against this dangerous addiction and possibly idolatry. This is not to defy him or break any marital yoke, but since he's currently not acting like his rational self, you are showing love by helping prevent him from harming himself and you further, while supporting his real future self. I would speak to any family and friends about what steps can be done to mitigate the loss and put in roadblocks to discourage further addition and losses. This is just my opinion that comes to mind. God bless you.
Susan your post touched me....I pray for you and your husband and your whole family....Susan if you will permit me I Baptise you and your husband and your whole family in the Precious Name of Jesus...Right now LORD put an end to this nightmare this lady is going thru....Sown a good seed in their hearts and minds right now LORD....In Jesus name I pray....Let your kingdom come Lord right now in Jesus name.....I rebuke you Satan right now outa the lives of this precious lady and her family in Jesus name.
.....Lord this lady has no one to help her but You...So we trust you O lord to fill her and her husband with the H.G....OH LORD HAVE MERCY ON THIS PRECIOUS LADY AND HER FAMILY....And have mercy on all of us in this forum in Jesus Name i pray OH LORD....I send the Great Promise of the H.G. ON ALL YOUR FAMILY SIS SUSAN IN Jesus Name.
Thank you kindly for reading and replying to my request. Yes, I am heartbroken, never ever thought this type of life is mine now. I don't want to live this way! I want my husband back, the husband who had a heart of Gold. Not this man I don't even like.
I receive your prayer in Jesus name! Waiting for the breakthrough. Though I'm getting very weak and weary waiting, I have no choice.
I thought I text again someone's telling me to tell you that well I'm going to some tough times it's really bad but I try to focus on feeding souls not to flush listen to Christian music the good stuff out there watch what you watch on TV you know I think you know it sounds like you're a godly woman that's a good thing I just thought I'd text back let you know about what I do I know there's a lot of people that do scripture stuff I'm I'm not good in that I will pray for you take care
Yes, I watch Christian TV and listen to Christian music. But I will keep on trusting and believing in God. And that he knows what is best for him and for me. Nothing is impossible for God.
I apologize I think some of the words are incorrect I hope you realize what I was trying to say I have to talk and text I'm kind of slow please forgive me take care
I tried to be very careful when I say because in Revelation at the end it says do not add anything or do not take anything away so I fear the lord I was just saying being the spirit not the flush that's all I think I fear more than anything else if I said anything incorrect I apologize and please forgive me God bless take care
May God bless you John , may He give you the strength and wisdom to get through your difficulties and to stay strong in His Word . You are not alone , be not soon shaken , much love in Christ .
I'm so sorry sounds like you were really devoted wife and Christian sounds a lot better than me I know that I became Born again 1995 and I haven't really served the Lord that well I mean I was good towards man you know being nice but anyways I'm so sorry I don't know what to tell you my own life is kind of screwed up I take care of my ex-wife she's in a nursing home don't have to but I do I'm the only one nobody else cares it sounds like you have a son if I read it right that that's good my son he doesn't I don't know I did everything right but he just I don't know I just can pray that you have people around you you know that will help you out you know I'm sorry that I can't give good advice I'm not in a place to do that I don't know good scripture I got one foot in heaven and one foot out I can only pray that your children if you do have them sound like you do they will be there for you I'm sorry I can't say anything else you do have an ange there are verses I can say in the Bible that we have to fear the lord and I do I don't know if that helps in any way I'm probably saying that incorrect but maybe you know what I'm talking about take care God bless you
God has revealed some things to you how to deal with this situation. Verses that come to mind are 1 Peter 3:1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; Read the previous chapter how it refers to Christ dealing with unbelief and he follows with "Likewise , ye wives". Another verse 2 Timothy 2:25 applies ....In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth; The human nature thinks more knowledge and lectures are the answer, but the following verses show how our view has to turn inward and practice how we apply knowledge. 2 Peter 1:5,6 And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; and to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness; and to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity. Take care of yourself and do the faithful roles of a wife so he desires to be with you. Hopefully you can have meaningful conversations that will help him see with God's grace. God give you much grace and the pray for the Holy Spirit to lead you!
Thank you for taking time out of your busy day to help me. I will read as you have mentioned the scriptures concerning this situation I'm going through. I know there's an answer in the Word. That is my life's manual. But so much knowledge in that book that will solve all problems. It's just finding where to look and to follow through with God's plan.
Dear "Susan" am so sorry to read about how life has become for you both. Before reading your post, i read a word from Matthew 5:31-32.
Unfortunately, your husband is gripped by a demon, maybe several. Your real man is in there somewhere, you know. So do not think about leaving him yet. There are help on the way. Jesus is not far away. Jesus is in your heart is He not?
You get to bring in some believing Christian people who are simply speaking out against this Rebellious spirit. Throw it out from him in the Holy Name of Jesus Christ. Only Jesus can do this with their and your help. You yourself can prepare your courage to and speak against the spirit that dwells in your husband. It's not Jesus who drives your husband, you know. And you have the right to throw it out in the Holy name of Jesus. You have the authority to speak it out, the demon is ruining your life. What Jesus did at Calvary has given us an unparalleled purification in Jesus' work, we are purified in His blood. Remember that when you speak to the spirit of your husband.
Clean out the demon from their house, instantly! Good luck and let us never forget we need too be alert all. I sincerely hope that it works out for you. God bless u and yours in Jesus name, love u in Christ.
Thank you for your thoughts and replying to my post. I have directly told him and looked straight in his eyes I know this is not you, because you would never live this life you are living now, you are the complete opposite. I also told him he has strongholds on him and must be broken in Jesus name.
He understands but will not accept it. He said he could quit gambling if he wanted to, but says he doesn't want to quit. He is not a willing vessel as before. He's acting like a rebellious child.
He tells me I will just have to get used to him living this lifestyle. I pray for him all the time as I should. But if he's not fighting to change himself only a supernatural miracle will have to take place. He doesn't want any church folks (my friends) around him. I know God never intended this to happen after being together with him in a Christian marriage for 36 years. God doesn't change his mind. Why oh why Lord? I have no answers. I have to trust and believe God is working on him, even though I see no evidence.
God Bless you Free and would appreciate continued prayer.
God does not want us to be miserable. But also He cannot violate people's free will and choices. He doesn't force anybody. But he can, and will work in one to make him follow His way. But this sometimes takes time, (sometimes not), it depends on a man's heart. Some people are hard for God to work in them, it takes time for God to break that stony heart, others are easier to work. So it depends on your husband's heart on how long it will eventually take to be brought back. It may be soon or it may be very, very long. But sometimes God does some very drastic actions to correct things. Remember Saul. He knows the best way.
You must trust in God and keep praying for him, have patience and be sure that God will eventually bring him back.
Now whereas there is not anything you can do about that, you must have your eyes open not to let your money/possessions (if any is left) go away, The Word of God says to women to obey their husbands but "in Christ". That means in no sinful or inappropriate demands or situations. To obey doesn't mean that your voice should not be heard You are not a servant or a slave. As a human you must do all you can to face and get out of that situation, the rest is God's job to do. The answer to your problem is not a simple one, it is a complicated thing, can't be answered in a post. Isn't there a pastor, social worker or smd from the social services/state that you can talk to and get some help? Do not avoid social workers, if its possible to you, because they are not believers. They have experience and can give you good advice in how to handle things, just don't do anything sinful. This is my opinion but I would like others to comment on this as well.
Thank you so much for taking time out of your busy day to read my post and give me your thoughts and concerns about my situation.
He always tells me he stubborn, and no matter he will always do things his way. Kind of acting rebellious. So, until he decides he wants to live for Jesus again I have to live with a person I don't like. About me talking with a pastor, counselor etc I did mention that to him but he would never agree with that. He says there is no need and when he wants to go back to Christian life, he will and no one will tell him otherwise. But I told him just I want to go and talk with someone. Again, he has the one car always and couldn't even go if I wanted to. Never in a million years would I ever have thought I would have written yesterday for the help I need. It seems like a nightmare. How a person can change so much. I would have never married him years ago if I would have met him the way he is today. I will give my son my debit card, this way every month my son will keep safe my disability money. My husband has already pawned all of my jewelry and his in order for him to have more money to gamble with. I remember the days when he used to preach/teach/encourage people on YouTube. Recently he was in the living room, I was sitting at the kitchen table and played one of his little sermons and put up the volume for him to hear. I made the statement "this is really good" God was so proud of you telling everyone there was hope for them in any situation. Then he remarked I'm not that man any longer. He just doesn't want to surrender. Now, I wait. God knows all about it. I don't want to sound like a child but life sometimes is not fair. I know the life I'm living now can't be God's plan. But again I feel stuck waiting on my husband's decision to live the life God intended for him.
Thank you for your encouragement and I appreciate your prayers !!
It is really sad that your life has turned upside down. BUT there is God.
We often forget that there is an enemy out there, invisible, who never sleeps. He is always trying to find our vulnerable sides to take advantage on us. If we are not careful enough then we may find ourselves trapped in a situation or a passion that we cannot break free. This is what happened to your husband. He surely knows what happens to him but he doesn't have the strength to break free, or even ask God to help him. This is then something for you to do.
How is going God to act? Noone knows.Sometimes He lets people reach their lowest like the prodigal son so to come to their senses and decide to return back. Other times God does something drastic, like when appeared to Saul/Paul in his way to Damascus. It really belongs to God to find the solution to this, we can only ask, trust in and wait.
But for as long as this situation still keeps going on, you must take care of yourself, your health, your mental health. It doesn't take too much for one to go over his limits. Try to accept reality. It's not very useful to keep grieving. It's time to get up and face the situation. See how you are going to handle things. Try to find support, love, compassion from other christians, the ones that encourage you, keep away from the ones that will throw blame to you. It wasn't your fault. Be in companionship with them, don't stay alone, stay busy; all these if possible. Keep going to church. If this is not possible, keep in touch with others on internet. Ask for prayers/fasting with you. Keep relying on God's love, trust in Him. Don't rely on people, we are all weak, you will be disappointed. Ask for support from your family members, friends, local community, anything.
As Adam advised you, stop/limit your husband having access to your money/belongings.
Keep strong, be encouraged. It's time to build your life entirety on God and rely entirely on Him and everything will be OK.
Your husband seems to have fallen prey to sin from not properly seeking God's help to remain free from sin. He may be saved or not, but it appears you may have to seek God to help you do right by God on a separate path that avoids your husband's destructive interference. If he is not determined to remain true to his marriage vows and responsibilities to you and God then you may have to let him go.
1 Corinthians 7:15
But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
1 Corinthians 7:11 (But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband): and let not the husband put away his wife.
1 Corinthians 7:12 But to the rest speak (I, not the Lord): If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.
1 Corinthians 7:15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace
Matthew 19:8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.
So Glad for the Word it brings such joy and peace.
A brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases - (means you can't force them to stay with you) but God hath called us to peace. The Word does not dispute itself.
God allows separation between light and darkness, right and wrong, righteousness and rebellion, and so forth. A woman with an abusive and rebellious husband is not totally bound to him in ways that prevent her from serving God. She should seek the Lord to give her guidance as to how to serve the Lord acceptably with or without her husband.
If a woman's husband sexually abuses their children, for example, she and her children are under no moral obligation to remain living under the same roof with him. In another example, if a woman's husband drinks or gambles all their money away and they lose their house, their car, and their income, then she is free to go live with her parents alone if God wills that for her. She does not have to live homeless with him and her parents are under no moral obligation to take him into their home if they take her in.
I will pray for you and your husband to get through this. I also pray that you receive wise council and that God can work through this situation to restore the way things were before.
I think the marriage partnership is there to support each other when one is down and love is doing what is best for the person and for the couple, not necessarily what is fun or offers short term pleasure. What I mean is he is down and you are currently the strong one in the relationship, and I personally think you are still respecting and loving your husband by doing what is best and right, not necessarily what he wants in the short term. And what I mean by that is if he is continuing to harm himself, go into debt, and sustain more and more losses, then I would consider taking measures to mitigate the damage and stop that.
More specifically, I personally would consider freezing credit cards, limiting bank withdrawals, blocking casino as a merchant that can no longer be paid, talk to your bank and see what your options are. I would organize some kind of intervention, bring in his old friends, other family, counselor, not at the same time, but in steps to hold strong against this dangerous addiction and possibly idolatry. This is not to defy him or break any marital yoke, but since he's currently not acting like his rational self, you are showing love by helping prevent him from harming himself and you further, while supporting his real future self. I would speak to any family and friends about what steps can be done to mitigate the loss and put in roadblocks to discourage further addition and losses. This is just my opinion that comes to mind. God bless you.
.....Lord this lady has no one to help her but You...So we trust you O lord to fill her and her husband with the H.G....OH LORD HAVE MERCY ON THIS PRECIOUS LADY AND HER FAMILY....And have mercy on all of us in this forum in Jesus Name i pray OH LORD....I send the Great Promise of the H.G. ON ALL YOUR FAMILY SIS SUSAN IN Jesus Name.
Thank you kindly for reading and replying to my request. Yes, I am heartbroken, never ever thought this type of life is mine now. I don't want to live this way! I want my husband back, the husband who had a heart of Gold. Not this man I don't even like.
I receive your prayer in Jesus name! Waiting for the breakthrough. Though I'm getting very weak and weary waiting, I have no choice.
God Bless you
Susan
Thank you so much for reading and replying.
Yes, I watch Christian TV and listen to Christian music. But I will keep on trusting and believing in God. And that he knows what is best for him and for me. Nothing is impossible for God.
God Bless you
Susan
I understand. No need for apologies.
God Bless you
Thank you for taking time out of your busy day to help me. I will read as you have mentioned the scriptures concerning this situation I'm going through. I know there's an answer in the Word. That is my life's manual. But so much knowledge in that book that will solve all problems. It's just finding where to look and to follow through with God's plan.
God Bless you
Susan
Unfortunately, your husband is gripped by a demon, maybe several. Your real man is in there somewhere, you know. So do not think about leaving him yet. There are help on the way. Jesus is not far away. Jesus is in your heart is He not?
You get to bring in some believing Christian people who are simply speaking out against this Rebellious spirit. Throw it out from him in the Holy Name of Jesus Christ. Only Jesus can do this with their and your help. You yourself can prepare your courage to and speak against the spirit that dwells in your husband. It's not Jesus who drives your husband, you know. And you have the right to throw it out in the Holy name of Jesus. You have the authority to speak it out, the demon is ruining your life. What Jesus did at Calvary has given us an unparalleled purification in Jesus' work, we are purified in His blood. Remember that when you speak to the spirit of your husband.
Clean out the demon from their house, instantly! Good luck and let us never forget we need too be alert all. I sincerely hope that it works out for you. God bless u and yours in Jesus name, love u in Christ.
Matthew chapter 5 and 6
Thank you for your thoughts and replying to my post. I have directly told him and looked straight in his eyes I know this is not you, because you would never live this life you are living now, you are the complete opposite. I also told him he has strongholds on him and must be broken in Jesus name.
He understands but will not accept it. He said he could quit gambling if he wanted to, but says he doesn't want to quit. He is not a willing vessel as before. He's acting like a rebellious child.
He tells me I will just have to get used to him living this lifestyle. I pray for him all the time as I should. But if he's not fighting to change himself only a supernatural miracle will have to take place. He doesn't want any church folks (my friends) around him. I know God never intended this to happen after being together with him in a Christian marriage for 36 years. God doesn't change his mind. Why oh why Lord? I have no answers. I have to trust and believe God is working on him, even though I see no evidence.
God Bless you Free and would appreciate continued prayer.
Susan
God does not want us to be miserable. But also He cannot violate people's free will and choices. He doesn't force anybody. But he can, and will work in one to make him follow His way. But this sometimes takes time, (sometimes not), it depends on a man's heart. Some people are hard for God to work in them, it takes time for God to break that stony heart, others are easier to work. So it depends on your husband's heart on how long it will eventually take to be brought back. It may be soon or it may be very, very long. But sometimes God does some very drastic actions to correct things. Remember Saul. He knows the best way.
You must trust in God and keep praying for him, have patience and be sure that God will eventually bring him back.
Now whereas there is not anything you can do about that, you must have your eyes open not to let your money/possessions (if any is left) go away, The Word of God says to women to obey their husbands but "in Christ". That means in no sinful or inappropriate demands or situations. To obey doesn't mean that your voice should not be heard You are not a servant or a slave. As a human you must do all you can to face and get out of that situation, the rest is God's job to do. The answer to your problem is not a simple one, it is a complicated thing, can't be answered in a post. Isn't there a pastor, social worker or smd from the social services/state that you can talk to and get some help? Do not avoid social workers, if its possible to you, because they are not believers. They have experience and can give you good advice in how to handle things, just don't do anything sinful. This is my opinion but I would like others to comment on this as well.
GBU
Thank you so much for taking time out of your busy day to read my post and give me your thoughts and concerns about my situation.
He always tells me he stubborn, and no matter he will always do things his way. Kind of acting rebellious. So, until he decides he wants to live for Jesus again I have to live with a person I don't like. About me talking with a pastor, counselor etc I did mention that to him but he would never agree with that. He says there is no need and when he wants to go back to Christian life, he will and no one will tell him otherwise. But I told him just I want to go and talk with someone. Again, he has the one car always and couldn't even go if I wanted to. Never in a million years would I ever have thought I would have written yesterday for the help I need. It seems like a nightmare. How a person can change so much. I would have never married him years ago if I would have met him the way he is today. I will give my son my debit card, this way every month my son will keep safe my disability money. My husband has already pawned all of my jewelry and his in order for him to have more money to gamble with. I remember the days when he used to preach/teach/encourage people on YouTube. Recently he was in the living room, I was sitting at the kitchen table and played one of his little sermons and put up the volume for him to hear. I made the statement "this is really good" God was so proud of you telling everyone there was hope for them in any situation. Then he remarked I'm not that man any longer. He just doesn't want to surrender. Now, I wait. God knows all about it. I don't want to sound like a child but life sometimes is not fair. I know the life I'm living now can't be God's plan. But again I feel stuck waiting on my husband's decision to live the life God intended for him.
Thank you for your encouragement and I appreciate your prayers !!
Susan
It is really sad that your life has turned upside down. BUT there is God.
We often forget that there is an enemy out there, invisible, who never sleeps. He is always trying to find our vulnerable sides to take advantage on us. If we are not careful enough then we may find ourselves trapped in a situation or a passion that we cannot break free. This is what happened to your husband. He surely knows what happens to him but he doesn't have the strength to break free, or even ask God to help him. This is then something for you to do.
How is going God to act? Noone knows.Sometimes He lets people reach their lowest like the prodigal son so to come to their senses and decide to return back. Other times God does something drastic, like when appeared to Saul/Paul in his way to Damascus. It really belongs to God to find the solution to this, we can only ask, trust in and wait.
But for as long as this situation still keeps going on, you must take care of yourself, your health, your mental health. It doesn't take too much for one to go over his limits. Try to accept reality. It's not very useful to keep grieving. It's time to get up and face the situation. See how you are going to handle things. Try to find support, love, compassion from other christians, the ones that encourage you, keep away from the ones that will throw blame to you. It wasn't your fault. Be in companionship with them, don't stay alone, stay busy; all these if possible. Keep going to church. If this is not possible, keep in touch with others on internet. Ask for prayers/fasting with you. Keep relying on God's love, trust in Him. Don't rely on people, we are all weak, you will be disappointed. Ask for support from your family members, friends, local community, anything.
As Adam advised you, stop/limit your husband having access to your money/belongings.
Keep strong, be encouraged. It's time to build your life entirety on God and rely entirely on Him and everything will be OK.
God Bless You.
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