Bible Discussion Thread

I have been married to my husband for 13 years. He has an addiction problem that causes him to leave our home several times a month. He constantly withdraws money out of our account throughout the time he's gone. Luckily I have access to his card and can turn it off before it overdrafts. He goes through a series of emotions that includes resentment towards me because I don't condone nor fund his behavior, then regret and lack of admitting there is a problem. I am concerned even more now because he acquired a loan to buy a car and I feel that will make everything worse for us. I am honestly at my wits end and don't know what to do. We need food, bills paid and essentials and I am stuck with the responsibility of providing these. I work as a Sped Monitor and barely make $900 a month. We are paid this way to cover summer month's. Due to my disabilities this is the easiest job for me. Please for me.

Alicia,

You've been provided with sound advice from Laura and Texsis. From my own experience, I can only add that your husband is in a state of depression, dealing with extreme guilt, and obvious unforgiveness on his part and in denial of Perfect Love that will heal. He is living (which is not really much of a life at all) in a hellish nightmare. I know it's difficult for you, to say the least, but try to deny yourself from falling into the victim mode as the devil desires for you to live in a state of fear where peace cannot coexist.Do your best to not make this nightmare your reality. Continually practice the forgiveness that heals, leaving all self thoughts of how and when the Holy Spirit works this out. Have deep compassion for this man. Don't allow yourself to take on any guilt in this matter, as it ultimately will result in self attack and possible regretful attack on him, which is unproductive. Consider this: The cause of all this is fear due to a lack of love.

Father, I pray for your comfort and peace for Alicia. In your time and manner I pray for this man's healing; a moving out of fear leaving a vacancy for your unfailing love to enter and be received. Your grace is sufficient. Thank you Jesus, in Your Name. Amen,

Thank You so much and everything you said is right. I told him the enemy is attacking him because he wants to kill, steal and destroy him. I told him he needs to ask for forgiveness for himself and GOD's grace and mercy brings him home when he leaves because he loves him and want him to be better. I am thankful that I sent this request because it has blessed me more than you will ever know. This has been such a shameful life for me and I am happy to be "SET FREE" GOD bless you!

As someone who has been/is in a very similar situation I will be praying for you. I will pass on the lessons I have learned which by now you may also know but it took me many years to really understand these things. I come from a long line of addicts and also married an addict. In my opinion these families carry a lot of insecurity and shame. In Jesus we don't have to be ashamed, let the addicts behavior be known. Don't spread it maliciously but don't take the shame of his addiction onto yourself or any children you all may have. Do not lie for them or cover their behavior. Love them but do not take their behavior on yourself. I lived in shame for years trying to "fix" my husband. I would lie to my church family about how he was always working, etc. That was never my job. I cannot save him that is the work of God. Give it all to Jesus. Cast your cares upon him. He cares for you more than you will ever know.

Also know that by marrying an addict you may have chosen a lonely life. Its not a punishment from God but there are consequences to our actions/choices made even before we were saved. I married as an unsaved and Godless woman but I was transformed through my struggle with my husband. God used our broken relationship to lead me to Him. We are instructed to love them and witness to them. I also believe in still honoring a husband that is an addict as the leader of the family. Our fear is that they will steer our family wrong and destroy us so we need to control the situation. We don't have to, God is in control. When we give him (husband&addict) respect and authority as is talked about in the bible that is right for a husband, then your husband comes under the leadership of God as the head of the family. In my life that is where I truly saw God move my husbands heart towards Him. He is still a work in progress but aren't we all. So much love my sister, have faith, be strong in the finished work of Jesus. Its always darkest just before dawn.

Thank You Laura for reminding me that GOD is still helping me through this tribulation. I used to fuss all the time after he comes back, but GOD told me not to. He is working on me to heal my heart. It is still a work in progress. He is starting to read the bible more and listen to me more. I am waiting for the day when he will be set free. I will be praying for you too!

Amen Laura, I couldn't have said it better. Jesus is the ONLY way, truth and life Alicia. He will see y'all through this if you do your part in prayer, Love, respect, understanding, caring and more prayer.!

Thank you, god bless!