My mother never wanted me to be born: she did not love a son; she wanted a daughter who she loved and controlled. As for me, she beat, chocked and pushed me down the steps. She cheated on my father many times; when he found out, she beat me to get back at him. This was my life from as far back as I can remember. I told my father one day what was going on, he said he would talk to her. Then she beat me more. Then she left my father and me when I was 18. Thought out the years that followed I tried to resolve issues with her but she still tried to control my life and my wife. Then came the letter where she told me she was in a time of her life where she did not need a son and sent back baby photos.
Question:
How can I honor them, I have forgiven then, is that enough?
I am so sorry that your mom treated you this way with so much rejection and hatred. I pray today that our wonderful Heavenly Father will uplift you in His loving care and mercy and bring healing to your mind, spirit, and heart as you work through the remembrances and the effects of this mistreatment throughout your life. I pray that the Holy Spirit will help you learn how to forgive. It doesn't mean we act like the mistreatment never happened, but we resolve ourselves to be forgiving, though the other was totally wrong in their words and actions. We resolve to pray for them and ask for God's blessing upon the other person for their salvation.
Forgiveness is a process. We start out choosing to be forgiving, even if we do not feel like we forgive the other person. Over time, we are being healed of the harm done by the Lord Jesus, and in time we can say we have forgiven this perrson and really feel like we have.
Blessings to you Steven, you have a lot that the Lord will be healing within you, but He is faithful. Be patient, allow the Holy Spirit to work through this with you and release everything about this mistreatment and this person to the Holy Spirit.
Perhaps the best way to honor someone and yourself IS through forgiveness. Forgiveness should be natural, yet speaking for myself, it doesn't always seem that way. In some instances, self honesty tells me that what I thought I forgave at some point in the past - I didn't. If you are not honoring them, I speculate you truly haven't forgiven. This doesn't necessarily mean you have not put forth effort.
To forgive is to overlook. Look then beyond the offense and do not let your perception rest upon it, for you will reinforce in your mind what your perception holds, thus making it your personal reality, for perhaps the rest of your life. Actually, forgiveness lies simply in looking beyond the sin before it occurred. If we could practice and master it to the extent it becomes our nature before we perceive ourselves unjustly treated, we would find complete peace in it. We wouldn't find ourselves as victims. Being a victim is not the sort of life God wills for His children. I'm thinking forgiveness is something we must learn since its not natural to the flesh. My personal thought is if I do not completely master it, then I probably haven't accepted God's forgiveness; as harsh as this may sound. For myself, its taking time, yet only with the Holy Spirit's help will I succeed. We who want peace can find it only through complete forgiveness, just as in Christ God forgave us.
Forgiving and honoring does not mean you position yourself around those that historically cause negative effects on you and family. Thus I would continue to seek advice on how to manage that, and most importantly, talk to Jesus. Remember this though: The Holy Spirit's Voice is only as loud as your willingness to listen; it cannot be louder without violating your freedom of choice.
Question:
How can I honor them, I have forgiven then, is that enough?
I am so sorry that your mom treated you this way with so much rejection and hatred. I pray today that our wonderful Heavenly Father will uplift you in His loving care and mercy and bring healing to your mind, spirit, and heart as you work through the remembrances and the effects of this mistreatment throughout your life. I pray that the Holy Spirit will help you learn how to forgive. It doesn't mean we act like the mistreatment never happened, but we resolve ourselves to be forgiving, though the other was totally wrong in their words and actions. We resolve to pray for them and ask for God's blessing upon the other person for their salvation.
Forgiveness is a process. We start out choosing to be forgiving, even if we do not feel like we forgive the other person. Over time, we are being healed of the harm done by the Lord Jesus, and in time we can say we have forgiven this perrson and really feel like we have.
Blessings to you Steven, you have a lot that the Lord will be healing within you, but He is faithful. Be patient, allow the Holy Spirit to work through this with you and release everything about this mistreatment and this person to the Holy Spirit.
Perhaps the best way to honor someone and yourself IS through forgiveness. Forgiveness should be natural, yet speaking for myself, it doesn't always seem that way. In some instances, self honesty tells me that what I thought I forgave at some point in the past - I didn't. If you are not honoring them, I speculate you truly haven't forgiven. This doesn't necessarily mean you have not put forth effort.
To forgive is to overlook. Look then beyond the offense and do not let your perception rest upon it, for you will reinforce in your mind what your perception holds, thus making it your personal reality, for perhaps the rest of your life. Actually, forgiveness lies simply in looking beyond the sin before it occurred. If we could practice and master it to the extent it becomes our nature before we perceive ourselves unjustly treated, we would find complete peace in it. We wouldn't find ourselves as victims. Being a victim is not the sort of life God wills for His children. I'm thinking forgiveness is something we must learn since its not natural to the flesh. My personal thought is if I do not completely master it, then I probably haven't accepted God's forgiveness; as harsh as this may sound. For myself, its taking time, yet only with the Holy Spirit's help will I succeed. We who want peace can find it only through complete forgiveness, just as in Christ God forgave us.
Forgiving and honoring does not mean you position yourself around those that historically cause negative effects on you and family. Thus I would continue to seek advice on how to manage that, and most importantly, talk to Jesus. Remember this though: The Holy Spirit's Voice is only as loud as your willingness to listen; it cannot be louder without violating your freedom of choice.
Peace and blessings
God IS
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