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I was a devout catholic, praying daily and often attending church while reciting various prayers regularly. My father began to drink heavily and consume various illegal substances. One day, my father used me as a front for crack-cocaine. My life was on the brink of failure and utter ruin. It was on this day that I lost my faith, and decided that even if God is real, he is not a God I deem worthy of worship.
My friend, it sounds like your faith was being tested much like Job's was. In the book of Job God let satan take everything Job had. God allowed this to show satan that Job would not cease in his praise and that Job's faith was more than a "payment" for what God had provided for him. At the end of the trial God restored everything satan had taken from him. During all of it in Job 1:21 look at what Job says. 21 And said, Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return thither: the Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; BLESSED BE THE NAME OF THE LORD. In the midst of everything Job still praised God.
The devil worked through your dad to attack your faith. Do not let that be the end of your story.
"Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee." Hebrews 13:5 KJV
He said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. Repent and turn to Jesus. I'll be praying for you.
Jeremiah 29:13 And ye shall seek Me, and find Me, when ye shall search for Me with all your heart. To well do I recall this same despair. I was raised in legalism, much like the Mosaic law Peter speaks of in Acts 15. This form is not large enough that I am able to share how God has carried me even though I neglected Him.The problem with this world is in fact the deception of Satan. He is a higher being than we, if it were not for the fact that the Living God tabernacles inside of me, I would have been devoured by the enemy. When I was a child, often I'd hear how the enemy sat on the front pew in church. I now realize the enemy has graduated himself to the pulpit. he has done this by teaching a different Jesus, manipulating the true word of God and many avenues to deceive humanity. The Lord precisely tells us not to make graven images, to worship Him only. My friend, it sounds like you have not been introduced to the true Saviour Jesus Christ. It is not by works, confessing to man our sin or any other means that we are redeemed. Jesus Christ is the only Way. As certain as I type this small message, I am witness to the saving grace of Jesus Christ. Realize, He is a HOLY GOD and no flesh shall boast in His presence. Jesus Christ took on flesh in order to atone for the curse upon all humanity. There is no good in any human being, no matter our works, we can not be saved by anyone or anything but through belief that Jesus Christ poured out His life, set the captives free, (no such thing as purgatory), rose bodily from death (being the first fruits), preached among us, ascended to the Father and sent the Holy Ghost, whereby we are sealed unto that day. One has to realize their sin and one day they will face a Holy God. Will God see a person innocent without having true repentance of their sins and giving themselves completely to Christ? No, He will not. There is absolutely no reason we have to suffer eternal torment. Realize sin, truly repent,accept Jesus Christ.I pray 4U
The way you find out who God truly is and how You can get to know Him personally is:
First, through knowing waht the gospel of Jesus is-He, as God, became a man in order to live the perfect sinless life and fulfill all the requirements of the Law of God and then to be the perfect sacrifice for our sins by going willingly to the cross to die in our place so that we can be forgiven of our sins and be restored to right fellowship to God. His death purged us of our sins and satisfied God's righteous wrath for sin by receiving this wrath upon Himself on the cross that we deserved. He purchased our pardon by the shedding of His holy Blood unto death. His resurrection brought to us eternal life and made the way for the Holy Spirit to impart the life that comes from God into us by regenerating us to new life in Christ. God will save all who believe this Gospel and repent of their sinful offenses against God.
Secondly, one comes to know who God is and comes to know Him by reading the Scriptures with the intent to discover Him throughout the whole of Scriptures. I would begin with the Gospels, because no one can know God without going through Jesus. Jesus is the only way to the Father.
I recommend that you examine yourself to see where you really are in matters of faith and then take the steps needed to be in right fellowship with God. I am so sorry that your childhood faith was shattered by the actions of your father, but the Heavenly Father will not use you nor abuse you. He will draw you to Himself through Christ and renew you to faith. The love of Christ will fill you up and hold you strong through life.
God is Love. Love is not the cause of failure or utter ruin. Respectfully, therefore, you would be correct this god you have made up in your mind is not worthy of worship. Try to be still, and know God is God. This means we must relinquish the always loud and busy, and confounding voice of the ego. Only God is real (true). Not what we make up in our mind. Truth is the absence of illusions. Your starting point is Truth, and you must return to your beginning.
We should focus on changing our mind and not our behavior. This is a matter of willingness. We do not not guidance except at the mind level. Correction belongs only at the level where change is possible. Change does not mean anything at the symptom level, where it cannot work.
The devil worked through your dad to attack your faith. Do not let that be the end of your story.
"Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee." Hebrews 13:5 KJV
He said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. Repent and turn to Jesus. I'll be praying for you.
The way you find out who God truly is and how You can get to know Him personally is:
First, through knowing waht the gospel of Jesus is-He, as God, became a man in order to live the perfect sinless life and fulfill all the requirements of the Law of God and then to be the perfect sacrifice for our sins by going willingly to the cross to die in our place so that we can be forgiven of our sins and be restored to right fellowship to God. His death purged us of our sins and satisfied God's righteous wrath for sin by receiving this wrath upon Himself on the cross that we deserved. He purchased our pardon by the shedding of His holy Blood unto death. His resurrection brought to us eternal life and made the way for the Holy Spirit to impart the life that comes from God into us by regenerating us to new life in Christ. God will save all who believe this Gospel and repent of their sinful offenses against God.
Secondly, one comes to know who God is and comes to know Him by reading the Scriptures with the intent to discover Him throughout the whole of Scriptures. I would begin with the Gospels, because no one can know God without going through Jesus. Jesus is the only way to the Father.
I recommend that you examine yourself to see where you really are in matters of faith and then take the steps needed to be in right fellowship with God. I am so sorry that your childhood faith was shattered by the actions of your father, but the Heavenly Father will not use you nor abuse you. He will draw you to Himself through Christ and renew you to faith. The love of Christ will fill you up and hold you strong through life.
God is Love. Love is not the cause of failure or utter ruin. Respectfully, therefore, you would be correct this god you have made up in your mind is not worthy of worship. Try to be still, and know God is God. This means we must relinquish the always loud and busy, and confounding voice of the ego. Only God is real (true). Not what we make up in our mind. Truth is the absence of illusions. Your starting point is Truth, and you must return to your beginning.
We should focus on changing our mind and not our behavior. This is a matter of willingness. We do not not guidance except at the mind level. Correction belongs only at the level where change is possible. Change does not mean anything at the symptom level, where it cannot work.
God Is
Peace be with you.
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