Pray God heals me of my porn addiction, life stresses, and disbelief. These three things are interconnected. First: disbelief. I'm hanging by a thread of faith. My faith in God's existence and the bibles veracity is almost gone. I am pondering of late if the bible is like Greek mythology now. Why? Because I can pray to a stone stature of Zues (not that I intend to) and get the same response from God. I know the promises in the bible, but despite praying no answer has ever come.
My life has been 60 years of loneliness, failure, broken dreams, unanswered prayers, and struggle with depression and poverty. I have no friends (not one), no family, no wife but I have many enemies in demon attacks and in humans against me (noise harassing neighbors in my apt complex and I can't afford to move).
When I get so profoundly sad and my life is pure misery, I lose my faith from the overwhelming load that has been on me for decades. Jesus said if you are heavy laden and weary to come and he will give rest and an easy yoke. But he hasn't. Thus, I'm losing faith fast and wondering if the bible is a lie and if there is no god. And with that, instantly I figure if there is no God I might as well look at porn because that is the only pleasure I get in life. See how this rapidly goes downhill? Thus, I ask for your prayers. Not only to defeat porn addiction, but also the precursors to that. I ask that God removes the load on me and reveals himself to me as real.
Even the apostle Paul who aided in the killing of St Stephen would have died not believing in Christ unless God revealed him as real. I need that kind of Damascus road miracle where God shows me he is real. Once, that happens, when temptation comes, I then will have a foundation to resist. Please pray this happens.
Thanks for being so honest about your prayer request. I understand your struggle. God knows your heart and so honesty like this is the right step. I recommend the book "The bondage Breaker" by Neil Anderson. Also steps to freedom in Christ. You may view those on Youtube. Its a process of replacing lies with truth.
Jeremiah 29:
11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.
12 Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you.
13 And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.
14 And I will be found of you, saith the LORD: and I will turn away your captivity, and I will gather you from all the nations, and from all the places whither I have driven you, saith the LORD; and I will bring you again into the place whence I caused you to be carried away captive.
Hi Mike. I was touched by you sharing experiences in your life & all you have had to put up with through these many years. In some ways, I can identify with you, though I have been spared depression & poverty; nonetheless, when failures, broken dreams or unanswered prayers are our lot, then this can become a breeding ground for a state of hopelessness, doubt, lethargy, and even entertaining questions of our faith & of a loving caring God.
I'm assuming that you truly know the Lord Jesus & that salvation is your very real experience & possession, yet because of circumstances, you've become despondent, doubting, & fearful. Not knowing your 'full story', it seems that you have allowed these unfortunate experiences to have had sway over your heart & mind, being overcome by them, & not dealt with them by continuing to hold onto the Lord & His Word. Yet you might say to this, 'But I have held on - as long as I could, before doubt crept in & over-ruled'. But the Word of God states in 1 Corinthians 10:13, "There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it".
Maybe you feel that God has allowed you to suffer or be tempted above your ability to bear them, but have you been able to see a way (His way) as your escape route from them? A lot of our problems stem from an idle mind & lifestyle. And Satan loves to work in such environments. Can you be involved in a Bible-believing Church Fellowship, in voluntary/charitable work, even with groups that meet for occasional get-togethers & outings? And if these are Christian groups/ministries, there will surely be folk that can help/guide you in friendship & counsel. Onto Page 2.
And then the matter: why look at porn? As a much older person now, you no longer have that sense of inquisitiveness & need for stimulation that maybe younger men would have. You know the human body & any further desire for porn images only serve to fulfil a lust or even to occupy empty uneventful days with some 'pleasure' to the eyes & mind. When we truly confess our sins before the Lord & earnestly desire to put away such things, the Lord will enable us, even if we replace them with healthy pursuits. Spend more time reading the Bible (even though it maybe difficult for you now); if you must spend time on the computer, listen to Christian music, messages from Bible teachers, or even Google News for latest news around the world. When sin knocks at our door, and we all experience this, we must turn away & do this is by attending to something else that will occupy our minds & our time. Just a few suggestions that I've known to work as received from the Lord.
When you do spend time in the Word & prayer (which is really simply talking to your Father in Heaven), He will make Himself abundantly real & precious to you once again. Satan is having his way with your mind & soul - you need to recognize this & come against him with the Word of God. He hates that mighty & powerful Word. Use it as your weapon of offence & your defence - for your soul & your sanity is at stake.
My early life was a mess, even though I had a Christian upbringing. It was only until the extent of my sin came before me, the grief that I brought to the Lord Who died for me, & the sin & lifestyle that only led me to Hell, that I could have that 'Damascus Rd' experience by God's Spirit. I just cried out in repentance, He heard & He delivered. I was made new in that instant, even without the Gospel being re preached to me. Call out to the Lord for that burden of sin you feel & sense of guilt you carry, that only Jesus can heal & deliver from. I join Adam & others here in prayer for you Mike.
One other thought since I ran out of room is who in life has been the most influential positively to you and/or your biggest advocate who rooted for your success? Whether still alive or not, imagine that person came to you to motivate you- what would this person say or do? Hug you? Listen? Challenge you? Kick in the rear? Only you know. Also, whatever we do, God is there. Jesus sees you when you disobey, doing things you know you're not supposed to do. Imagine He's sitting right beside you, because He is. We're being watched, through all the good and bad. God is already waiting there with open arms. Hope this is helpful. God bless, brother.
I can empathize with what you shared and so well articulated. I prayed for you.
You requested prayer and might not expect or want a reply but would like to share a couple verses that come to mind.
If I were to summarize what I read it's you assume God should fix your obstacles in life and since He hasn't yet, maybe He doesn't exist, is that close?
If so, I would first ask where this believe originates from. If we use the Bible as our source for who God is and how He operates, I don't get the sense that He would do what you're expecting. Even Jesus didn't get what He wanted- remember when He cried out on the cross?
"And at the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying, Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani? which is, being interpreted, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?" Mark 15:34 KJV
Now let's consider the #1 Christian evangelist: Paul. He faced misery and extreme hardship.
2 Corinthians 11:
25 Thrice was I beaten with rods, once was I stoned, thrice I suffered shipwreck, a night and a day I have been in the deep;
26 In journeyings often, in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils by mine own countrymen, in perils by the heathen, in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren;
27 In weariness and painfulness, in watchings often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness.
But he says he's found the secret of contentment and it has nothing to do with our circumstances! How is this possible? What is the secret? Philippians 4:10-13
1 Peter 4:12-13 - this says don't be surprised when you're facing huge trials like you're facing right now. Life is a test with almost non-stop trials, in my opinion.
How hard are you currently praying for help, how hard are you seeking God, how much are you reading in His Word? Could you seek input from people in person, like a church minister, or video chat online?
My life has been 60 years of loneliness, failure, broken dreams, unanswered prayers, and struggle with depression and poverty. I have no friends (not one), no family, no wife but I have many enemies in demon attacks and in humans against me (noise harassing neighbors in my apt complex and I can't afford to move).
When I get so profoundly sad and my life is pure misery, I lose my faith from the overwhelming load that has been on me for decades. Jesus said if you are heavy laden and weary to come and he will give rest and an easy yoke. But he hasn't. Thus, I'm losing faith fast and wondering if the bible is a lie and if there is no god. And with that, instantly I figure if there is no God I might as well look at porn because that is the only pleasure I get in life. See how this rapidly goes downhill? Thus, I ask for your prayers. Not only to defeat porn addiction, but also the precursors to that. I ask that God removes the load on me and reveals himself to me as real.
Even the apostle Paul who aided in the killing of St Stephen would have died not believing in Christ unless God revealed him as real. I need that kind of Damascus road miracle where God shows me he is real. Once, that happens, when temptation comes, I then will have a foundation to resist. Please pray this happens.
Jeremiah 29:
11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.
12 Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you.
13 And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.
14 And I will be found of you, saith the LORD: and I will turn away your captivity, and I will gather you from all the nations, and from all the places whither I have driven you, saith the LORD; and I will bring you again into the place whence I caused you to be carried away captive.
Hi Mike. I was touched by you sharing experiences in your life & all you have had to put up with through these many years. In some ways, I can identify with you, though I have been spared depression & poverty; nonetheless, when failures, broken dreams or unanswered prayers are our lot, then this can become a breeding ground for a state of hopelessness, doubt, lethargy, and even entertaining questions of our faith & of a loving caring God.
I'm assuming that you truly know the Lord Jesus & that salvation is your very real experience & possession, yet because of circumstances, you've become despondent, doubting, & fearful. Not knowing your 'full story', it seems that you have allowed these unfortunate experiences to have had sway over your heart & mind, being overcome by them, & not dealt with them by continuing to hold onto the Lord & His Word. Yet you might say to this, 'But I have held on - as long as I could, before doubt crept in & over-ruled'. But the Word of God states in 1 Corinthians 10:13, "There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it".
Maybe you feel that God has allowed you to suffer or be tempted above your ability to bear them, but have you been able to see a way (His way) as your escape route from them? A lot of our problems stem from an idle mind & lifestyle. And Satan loves to work in such environments. Can you be involved in a Bible-believing Church Fellowship, in voluntary/charitable work, even with groups that meet for occasional get-togethers & outings? And if these are Christian groups/ministries, there will surely be folk that can help/guide you in friendship & counsel. Onto Page 2.
And then the matter: why look at porn? As a much older person now, you no longer have that sense of inquisitiveness & need for stimulation that maybe younger men would have. You know the human body & any further desire for porn images only serve to fulfil a lust or even to occupy empty uneventful days with some 'pleasure' to the eyes & mind. When we truly confess our sins before the Lord & earnestly desire to put away such things, the Lord will enable us, even if we replace them with healthy pursuits. Spend more time reading the Bible (even though it maybe difficult for you now); if you must spend time on the computer, listen to Christian music, messages from Bible teachers, or even Google News for latest news around the world. When sin knocks at our door, and we all experience this, we must turn away & do this is by attending to something else that will occupy our minds & our time. Just a few suggestions that I've known to work as received from the Lord.
When you do spend time in the Word & prayer (which is really simply talking to your Father in Heaven), He will make Himself abundantly real & precious to you once again. Satan is having his way with your mind & soul - you need to recognize this & come against him with the Word of God. He hates that mighty & powerful Word. Use it as your weapon of offence & your defence - for your soul & your sanity is at stake.
My early life was a mess, even though I had a Christian upbringing. It was only until the extent of my sin came before me, the grief that I brought to the Lord Who died for me, & the sin & lifestyle that only led me to Hell, that I could have that 'Damascus Rd' experience by God's Spirit. I just cried out in repentance, He heard & He delivered. I was made new in that instant, even without the Gospel being re preached to me. Call out to the Lord for that burden of sin you feel & sense of guilt you carry, that only Jesus can heal & deliver from. I join Adam & others here in prayer for you Mike.
I can empathize with what you shared and so well articulated. I prayed for you.
You requested prayer and might not expect or want a reply but would like to share a couple verses that come to mind.
If I were to summarize what I read it's you assume God should fix your obstacles in life and since He hasn't yet, maybe He doesn't exist, is that close?
If so, I would first ask where this believe originates from. If we use the Bible as our source for who God is and how He operates, I don't get the sense that He would do what you're expecting. Even Jesus didn't get what He wanted- remember when He cried out on the cross?
"And at the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying, Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani? which is, being interpreted, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?" Mark 15:34 KJV
Now let's consider the #1 Christian evangelist: Paul. He faced misery and extreme hardship.
2 Corinthians 11:
25 Thrice was I beaten with rods, once was I stoned, thrice I suffered shipwreck, a night and a day I have been in the deep;
26 In journeyings often, in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils by mine own countrymen, in perils by the heathen, in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren;
27 In weariness and painfulness, in watchings often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness.
But he says he's found the secret of contentment and it has nothing to do with our circumstances! How is this possible? What is the secret? Philippians 4:10-13
1 Peter 4:12-13 - this says don't be surprised when you're facing huge trials like you're facing right now. Life is a test with almost non-stop trials, in my opinion.
How hard are you currently praying for help, how hard are you seeking God, how much are you reading in His Word? Could you seek input from people in person, like a church minister, or video chat online?
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