Bible Discussion Thread

I am going through some difficult times right now. I come from a small northern town in Canada, but modern technology has reached us here too. Almost everybody I know has an Xbox or a PS3, and a computer, and satellite T.V. and they pretty much allow their kids free reign over these things as well, in some cases to great detriment to their kids. It almost seems like we here in my hometown are all doomed because hardly anybody here lives according to Matthew 5, including myself. We here have seemed to lose our connection to religion, as the residential school system, with it's hellfire and brimstone teachings, sexual, physical, and mental abuse, seperation from parents and family which broke the family structure and caused most of my people to lose, or at least damage, their parental instincts, and these things trickled down the generations and are still affecting many of us today. It has really turned a lot of people off. Most of us here love God, but are afraid of religion. The preists and nuns that taught our parents and grandparents really used fear as a way of keeping the kids in line. Isn't God supposed to be about love and kindness. In my community, the organized religion really damaged it's reputation and standing amongst many in the community and instead of creating good christians, they created many drunks and fornicators and abusers. I personally want to be closer to God and Jesus, but I need to find a way that won't alienate me from my community. I know that blessed are the persecuted, but I love everyone here in my community and I would love it if every one of us made it into the kingdom (there are only 300 people here and I know and love everyone), and I don't want to be ostracized from my own community. I am only a man and I am not as strong as Jesus who was an outcast in his own community. It wouldn't do anything but make me into an outcast anyways, as people here don't want anybody preaching religion to them for the reasons I already outlined earlier. My predicament is that I do want to get everyone closer to God, in a way that will work. People around here put a lot of value on credibility. My going around town here yelling like John the Baptist for them to repent because the kingdom is near is only going to make them think of me as a weirdo and destroy all my credibility. The real reason I don't want to lose credibility with anyone here in my home is that I would like to see everybody from here make it to the next life, I would love it if we could all spend eternity in God's kingdom. It would be like my greatest wish. It's actually what I wish for when I see a shooting star, no fooling. Truth be told, I am lost right now. I long to be closer to God, but everytime I sin, I feel dirty and ashamed to pray. I have several addictions and I know God sees all. It's like I feel like I am undeserving at times. I know everybody here in my hometown and most of us here are kind, and generous and help each other out, in spite of our many faults. All good christian qualities. I just wish I knew of a good way to lead my people back to God. I know for a fact that preaching to them will only make them disrespect me. I am at a loss. I pray that God shows me the way and that I am strong enough to follow through.